Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

Asperger96
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jul 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 704
Location: Central Maryland

16 Nov 2013, 4:09 pm

I sometimes find myself in a situation where I am next to someone crying, and I want to console them and cheer them up, but I don't know how. I'm not very socially astute, and I worry that I will only make things worse.

This situation happened at school two weeks ago when my classmate went into the hallway and started crying about a mistake they made. I wanted to console them, so I went to another classmate and told them to go out in the hallway and "make them stop crying" (not in a mean way)

Long story short (too late): How do I turn :cry: into :( into :? into :) into :D into :lol:



lostonearth35
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,900
Location: On a planet where I don't belong.

16 Nov 2013, 4:56 pm

It's strange, but I very rarely see other people crying. Usually I'm the one who's crying, and it's all they can do to console ME. :)



cathylynn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Aug 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,045
Location: northeast US

16 Nov 2013, 5:38 pm

offer a tissue and a hug and let them know it's okay to cry as long as they need to. offer to listen. be sympathetic don't judge. don't try to cheer them up.



neobluex
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 May 2013
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 589
Location: Argentina

16 Nov 2013, 5:43 pm

Make the person laugh (i.e. do something stupid, or tell a joke).



Sono
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2013
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 58

16 Nov 2013, 7:36 pm

Asking them what they need is good. Giving them a hug is generally good (although if they are a person who doesn't like hugs, don't). Letting them know you really care is also very very good :)



banana247
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 5 Mar 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 247
Location: Wrong Planet

16 Nov 2013, 11:13 pm

I'm certainly no expert....far from it....but one thing that I have found from experience is that it's normally not about what you can say or do, but just being there patiently listening and trying to understand the persons struggles. Every situation is different, but most times trying to get a personal laugh does not make their problem go away. They don't want You to tell them it's ok if it's not. Actually they often just want someone to help them feel like their problems are real and they are not just being dramatic or annoying by crying over it.



Pabbicus
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 16 Nov 2013
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 92

18 Nov 2013, 12:35 am

I have always found that consoling people is very easy. Talk to them, ask them what happened, listen intently, and tell them what you think about their situation without bluntness or rudeness.



VIDEODROME
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Nov 2008
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,691

18 Nov 2013, 2:00 am

I dunno. Maybe I'm crazy, but perhaps they need to cry as long as they need to to work through their emotional distress. If it is taking to long maybe they could use a sedative to rest. Especially if whatever is upsetting them is interfering with sleep.



Asperger96
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jul 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 704
Location: Central Maryland

18 Nov 2013, 6:47 am

I don't know about hugs.

Hugging me can be like hugging a wax statue of Frankenstein's Monster :lol: