Trying to cultivate an interest for social purposes?

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CrispyPancake
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08 Dec 2013, 1:55 am

Have any of you ever tried to 'make yourself' interested in something you're not naturally interested in for social purposes? Did it work?

Even though I think I have a broad range of interests (travel, food, culture, music, film, books, politics, history, philosopy), I don't have any natural interest in the 2 things it seems most people I meet are interested in: 1) going out/drinking and 2) sport. I think this is one reason why I find it difficult to have conversations with people.

There's not much I can do about 1) but it occurred to me that it might be worthwhile trying to cultivate an interest in sport, in order to make some friends. I don't have many friends at all.

It's not that I dislike sport, I just find it pointless, so I've kind of ignored it my whole life. I think I could develop an interest in sport. The statistics kind of appeal to my autistic side.

What do you think? Worthwhile experiment or pointless waste of time?



Who_Am_I
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08 Dec 2013, 2:53 am

No. All it would mean was that I'd be having even more conversations that bored me.


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AgentPalpatine
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08 Dec 2013, 1:05 pm

If you're going to "cultivate an interest", make sure you do it right. You absolutely have to be able to support why you're rooting for this team or that team, or it looks like your interest is fake, and a fake interest annoys people much faster than no interest.

In my experience, stick to one major sport with a side of another major sport and you should be safe. In the US, depending on your social surrounding and location, pick two of the 4 major leagues (NHL, MLB, NBA, NHL) and 2 "revenue" college sports (Football and Men's Basketball), and work from there.

In some cases, it's socially acceptable to "acquire" an interest in a sport or a team because a boss or office follows that one. That's more of a grey area. Showing interest is usually polite, unless you're rooting for a rival team.


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CrispyPancake
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08 Dec 2013, 4:26 pm

Palps I know what you mean. I would hate to come across as fake. I watched an interesting video (won't let me put up a link) on Huff Post about faking an interest in sports - basically says don't do it, people will see right through you.

I had envisaged spending a bit of time trying to educate myself before attempting to have a conversation about a sport. I live in Australia, so the sports of interest would be cricket, tennis and (among the people I work with) rugby union. Rugby union I kind of hate on principle - bunch of meatheads barging into each other. But even that.. perhaps I can muster some kind of interest in, if not an actual like.



em_tsuj
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08 Dec 2013, 6:08 pm

I have because I have a friend who is a sports fanatic and most other people have at least one or two teams that they root for. Right now I could care less. I don't have people in my life who are sports nuts. The people in my life are interested in things I am interested in.



Dear_one
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10 Dec 2013, 8:09 am

If I ever watched team sports, it would be to study NT teamwork, and sociology. If you want to have a few pints while you study, it might work out.



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10 Dec 2013, 4:34 pm

I've been trying to cultivate an interest in the emotions of people I'm not close to and sharing personal information for sharing's sake, but have been mostly unsuccessful. I noticed how everyone around me bonds over these things while I'm left out and viewed as mysterious, suspicious, or disinterested no matter how much I talk about other things. It's uncomfortable and ineffective so far.



ZipoCXG
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10 Dec 2013, 5:09 pm

I've tried to before, though I'm usually not comfortable doing so especially if the topic is of something I have little to no knowledge about. My area of interests is very limited and I cannot force myself to participate in these conversations where I know that I sound like a bumbling idiot. Also because in my experience with these situations people seem to ignore me anyways, or tell me to buzz off or something like that. I personally don't see it as being worth it. I'd rather be silent and ignored than called out on sounding like I have no idea what I'm talking about.


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anneurysm
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10 Dec 2013, 7:24 pm

I do this sometimes, but not with things that I'll have absolutely no interest in, because I know it will seem fake and contrived. With things I'm a little interested in, I'll just ask more about whatever it is and then investigate it myself (usually on the internet) so that I'll have at least one thing to add if the topic comes up in the future. If it's somehow tied to one of my specific interests, even in an obscure way, I'll persue it.

If someone brings up a topic you like, it's a good idea to ask about it to find out more - and it's okay if you don't know about it because no one knows about everything. I also make use of wikipedia and google for finding out more about each other's interests, and have a running list of interests I'd like to know more about on my phone.

I tend to see popular interests as an investigation into learning about NT culture. For example, I've gotten into a few popular TV shows and movies because it's a way I can study people and find out what they value or find funny, interesting or captivating. I never understood sports until I discovered that they are also thrilling to watch when you are rooting for a team or a player you like...my boyfriend is a huge hockey fan and has definite favorite teams/players. It's also why I get really into his own hockey games...because he is playing :)

Most people tend to like popular things...although I wish they didn't and everyone could just think for themselves...sigh. Still, I do take interest in some of the interests of others because people love finding common ground with others...plus when you are just getting to know them or if they aren't a close friend, they really like talking about impersonal and superficial stuff. I am a member of a few activity groups that get together, and at the last one I went to, a few of us talked at length over TV shows. I will be honest and say that it was an extremely boring conversation ever, but it does create nice feelings between people knowing that they have something in common with you.

I understand why this can be really hard to do because ASD interests are so specific. I am no means an exception to this rule, but it is something that bothers me because I don't want to be ever stuck for topics. As well, it is so hard to find people in person who are like me. For example, I know a few people that I can discuss ASD with, but not many people who share my weird personal views or like the same types of music and culture as I do.

I also keep track of the interests of people that I'm close to as I know that going out of your way to do this for someone is really flattering to them.



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10 Dec 2013, 7:31 pm

Things may seem uninteresting until you give it a shot. I didn't drink at all until I was 25 haha. It's fun I enjoy spending time with friends and found out I'm a hilarious drunk even long after I stop remembering which I try to avoid xD. It didn't seem fun or smart for so long but having put some effort into it I found I enjoy it. If you know you don't like it well yes don't do it because you won't really enjoy it. I've found many people like drinking AND games or books or films. The same people I know that like to smoke pot love films and music and we have a lot in common. And yes pot was the first thing I really tried and I've stopped now but it was fun too. I say try something new and hope for the best.


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