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KingofKaboom
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15 Dec 2013, 5:28 pm

Friend has a new relationship, I messed up got bent out of shape and just after she admitted to having it because well I had feelings for her and tbh felt like she misled me. Told her alot of things in anger that I didn't really mean that's not new to her but thankfully not common. Anyway what I want to know is she wants to be away from her friends or maybe just me can't really tell that sort of thing. What's the reasoning for this? I mean what can a persons reasons be for that? She made clear she never had feelings for me and tbh I'm not sure after what she put me through if I want to stay friends. The feelings are still pretty strong, they'll fade like they always do. Maybe that's the reason idk...


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15 Dec 2013, 9:05 pm

I often need a "hiatus" from friends, especially if the relationship starts to feel too intense. I think "needing space"--physical and emotional--is normal for most people. It allows us to maintain our separate sense of identity and priorities.

That said, when I was younger and friends needed space from me, I found it very difficult to give them that space. I felt they must surely be angry with me, and that I must have said or done something terribly wrong. Even when I had done something wrong, I could not understand that they would continue to like me if I just left them alone for a while. I could be very annoying. It's a good way to lose friends, bothering them when they need their space (and a guaranteed way to lose a date!).

Best I can suggest is, to set some goals for yourself which you can achieve in her absence. Some goals might involve, say, meeting up with other friends a few times a week, or doing some things you enjoy but haven't had time for lately. That way, when she does want to meet up again and you are both sharing the things you've been up to, she'll be thinking what an interesting person you are and how much she enjoys talking with you, rather than how needy and mopey you've been :wink:



KingofKaboom
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15 Dec 2013, 9:12 pm

I graduated school


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thewhitrbbit
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15 Dec 2013, 10:59 pm

I'm not sure exactly what your asking.

I'd say if you bitched her out, she might just tell you that to avoid anymore drama. She may not want to get into it with you again by telling you specifically she doesn't want to talk to you or may be to pissed to want to talk to you.

Or she may be one of those girls who disappears from the world when they get a boyfriend.



KingofKaboom
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15 Dec 2013, 11:18 pm

I can promise I've gotten way worse than that fight lol. I'm a nice guy and everything but when I get hurt I get hot. I just don't curse or throw insults.


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