What do I do if I need someone to talk to?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm new here. I am autistic. I asked this question elsewhere on an answer site and it got reported because they said I was abusing resources and I couldn't post personal questions about problems with other users. I'm going through 'heck' and I am being mentally hurt really badly because I lost a friend on another site. The person thinks I had more than one account and harrassing them so they blocked me but we were friends for a year. I don't undrrstand how they could think that about me when we've been friends for a year. I mentioned this before in another post yesterday on here. It's hard for me to get over it. I can't apologize to them for whatever they think I did and I really want to and fix things. I don't like the restriction of being blocked when I didn't do anything wrong and without the chance to appeal. I feel like I have no one to talk to. I asked other people on the answer site what I should do and they teased me by calling me a stalker and a troll which made me feel worse. That question got deleted. I'm not a stalker I just have OCD and can't help it.

You understand the contradiction?

Your title is you need someone to talk to. Your former friend is not listening, and wanting her/him to won't make it happen. The only thing to do when I want/need someone to talk to is to find someone willing to listen.

We are reading your posts. Someone out there doesn't like you and is speaking negatively about you, and you don't like it. Neither you nor we have the power to change that person's mind.

So turn to the real people in your life who will listen, talk to them, do what you are writing you need---and find someone real to talk to.

Waterfalls has a point, Minnesota, sometimes you just have to let go. It's sad that your friend got it in their head that you were doing something you weren't doing, but unless you have their phone number and can call them up and straighten it out, there's nothing you can do. If you're blocked, you're blocked. It sucks and it's not fair, but sadly, life is very often not fair and sometimes people are going to behave in ways that hurt your feelings and no matter how frustrating it is, you can't change it.

Other people go through these things, too.

Can you imagine how a guy feels when he comes home from work one day thinking everything is just as normal as always and walks in his house to discover his wife has moved out and just left him a note that says "I can't do this anymore"? No warning, no arguing, no talk, no word where she's gone, or why - just left and taken everything with her. And at breakfast that morning she had acted like everything was fine.

That happened to me. When awful stuff like that happens, there is absolutely nothing you can do to change it. It just is.

What you can do, is get over it. Oh, not right away - no,no,no - it's going to hurt for a while. Count on it. It's going to ache for a while, like a knife in your heart. But like all cuts, it will heal in time and eventually you'll barely remember it even happened. Life goes on, other things come along to distract you, you make new friends, then one day it's just a distant memory, a speck so far behind you back down the road you can't even see it anymore.

I know that knowing that may be cold comfort right now, but the one thing you can do to help yourself is start looking forward. Don't let something that's over and done with keep nagging at you like a sore tooth. Quit obsessing on that person, they're gone, forget about them and think about where you're going to go next and what you want to do next. Look for new places to spend your time, and find things to do that have nothing to do with those memories.

It's called Taking Control of Your Own Destiny. That's your new job. You can do it.

don't take this the wrong way, but you are obsessing. it is the same stuff as yesterday. make new. move on. you know what is going on. you must know. it is not you that made this stuff happen. it is your OCD. don't believe you can't help the way your OCD is. I'm sure dealing with it is difficult. ask yourself. do you want it controlling you the rest of your life, or do you control it? you are going to need to be different, because you are. of course people are going to take it the wrong way. they don't have it, you do. you cannot expect people to take it any other way. think of it this way too. it must be the first time you got kicked out of something. you have been deverganized. there will be many in your life to come. count on it.

Sorry that what happened has been rough on you. I also have trouble letting go when the situation doesn't make sense to me. I always need closure before I can completely move on.
I sometimes can't get that though and those situations still nag at me sometimes. What helps me though, is when I tell my parents about it and they can give me some feedback or a different perspective. Maybe try that out. Do you have a sibling or parent that's willing to listen? I hope you feel better.

Some appear to turn it off in the blink of an idea over silly actions or belief conflicts. Then they do not bother to tell you what is wrong. All of a sudden they shut down on you.

I was a friends with someone like that for a while where they would associate with someone and then appear to turn it off. Mainly if that person was "Getting on their nerves." If that other person tried to reach out, my former friend would get hostile and yell ugly things at the other person.

In my own situation, I had people who I went to school with and again, they appeared to be interested one minute and then acted like I was harassing them all the time which I never did. I only talked to them a few times.

As for your network, they sound like one of those "Fair weather friends" where they seem to be nice for a while and then appear to turn it off for no reason. That is exactly what this person sounds like. Just be sure to let them go and invest your time finding friends who are not going to freak out.

This sounds like a common AS thing. It just happened to me. I am kept trying to get an explanation. The more I pursued, the more the other person shut down. I am focused on not contacting the person one day at a time and accepting the fact that I interact with other people in a way that is not comfortable for them. It has happened repeatedly that people get tired of me and just quit picking up the phone. I am learning to act differently so that I don't wear out my welcome with people. I am also learning to be more independent. I don't know if I will seek out anymore friendships, only acquaintances. The deep personal relationships I desire seem to be too intense for most people. My life is just as fulfilling if I focus on my routines, my personal goals, and my special interests.