Email / Pen friend etiquette

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I met someone while travelling, just for a couple of hours. But we got on surprisingly well. We have since been writing to each other every few days. If I am honest I am pretty much in love with this person,

But that is neither here nor there, I have more trivial questions. I am a bit lost with this pattern/etiquette of relaying information/chatting. I look back at my messages and they are insanely long and in depth, scrutinising minute detail of my psyche. I cringe when looking back, it is EXHAUSTING. up to 3000 word emails which are just supposed to be friendly chat but I just go off on one, feeling I need to explain my feelings and the reasoning behind them.

Her messages are much shorter and contain much less personal information. She seems on a very similar wavelength and does not resent/reject/criticise anything I have said. She also claims to enjoy hearing from me.

I wonder if these lengthy emails in this context are normal?

a certain amount of difference between you is just writing style. that's okay. you might get along better with her in the long run, though, if you match your length and tone to hers. if she lets you know she misses the soul-searching, I'm off base, and you can resume.

It sounds as if you are both doing well with back and forth communication via emails. That in itself is a good sign. People differ in their writing styles, as the above poster mentioned. Let me give you a personal example. I very much like a guy that emails me periodically...he usually initiates...however I have sent him a couple/few emails before he did (was trying to make some progress on my end with that). My hope is that we can eventually be together...although now the timing is best for friendship at most.

All that being said, when we communicate via email...he sends very detailed and long emails...and tbh I love that about him. It shows me that he takes the time to tell me what he is thinking or feeling about various things...and that in turn, makes me feel closer to him. Thing is, I worry that my emails in comparison are too short, lol...isn't that kind of ironic. I don't wish for him to change, as long as he understands that my writing style can often appear more inhibited due to my thought process and other reasons.

I suppose what I'm trying to relay here is that she may be thinking/feeling in a similar way. Perhaps she might also be concerned that she needs to say more? These are only guesses...but as a female in a similar situation on the receiving end of a man's kind correspondence...it is refreshing to find someone who can be honest and open in many areas of discussion. I for one do appreciate that.

I'm like you – my emails tend to be novels! And I enjoy reading long emails from other people too. So hopefully she enjoys it as well?

Maybe you could just ask her if it's okay, or if she finds them overwhelming?

The funny thing is I am normally not one to waffle on, at all. I rarely feel like I have anything worth saying, not in due to any lack of self confidence. But more that I rather wait till I have some "quality" thoughts or words to share. And even then, I am usually brief and illusive.

I also never talk about myself, feelings etc.. to ANYONE.

But she seems to be the only person I have ever met in my life that seems on a similar wavelength, it seems to have broken down the flood defenses letting the torrent through. I just cant shut up.

Even though due to ADD and a reading impediment I struggle to read more than 400 words, I manage to write 3000 word messages to her, in a single go without even stopping!

Her approach is driving me crazy though, she waits longer between messages and is much more subtle and vague. But everything she has told me points towards magical serendipity. And I pine, my hormones are going nuts.

Well she wrote back, and it was certainly worth the wait.

She opened up a lot but also tried very hard to ward me off with all kinds of self depreciatory information about herself.

I effortlessly shot a 2000 word reply right back, which I am quietly confident said exactly the right thing. It seems communication even for the most hapless of aspies, is easy with the right person