Explaining Things to Others

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This question may not perfectly fit in "Social Skills and Making Friend" but I wasn't sure where to put it and it does have the aspect of interacting other others. Sorry if I posted this in the wrong place.

Anyway, has anyone had success in describing certain issues of Aspergers to others to where they at least grasp that it's not like NT experience things?

For instance, my routines and need for same-ness is a huge thing for me. I recognize that routines are also a part of many people's day to day lives. I know that they can get genuinely frustrated when it's messed with, especially if it's something they came up with at work that is most efficient for them or at home that helps them get things done in time. I understand that we all attempt to relate to others the best we can and that's probably why they associate what I'm saying with someone they experience that is just different.

I feel like it's different for me thought. It's not really about getting things done efficiently or anything like that. It wasn't actually developed and planned, it just happened. My morning routine and night routine are huge for me. The same breakfast is also very important.

I just can't explain to others how I feel if my routine gets interrupted and why. I can't communicate how it's different.
There are also many things that I can't seem to communicate because they get misinterpreted when others relate it to their experience. Sensory issues is a big one, my need for a recovery period, and how important it is for me to get time to focus on my special interest every day.

If anyone can give me some advice or tell me about what has been successful for you, I'd appreciate it.

Sensory issues: I usually describe it as fingernails on a chalkboard and someone shining bright lights in my eyes at the same time. That's why I have trouble with eye contact and get overwhelmed when too much is going on.

Need to be alone: I describe being around others like taking a college course final. It feels good when it goes well, but it's very mentally exhausting and stressful.

Routines: This one is harder to explain. It's like singing the alphabet from A to Z where all the letters are there and have their own place, and it would be really annoying and difficult to follow if someone listed the letters out of order--much more mentally challenging and frustrating because of the unnecessary and increased difficulty. Real life can be the same way, it takes much less mental effort and decreases stress when things are done in a particular order.

Saying the wrong thing or difficulty with communication: This one has two effects for me because of mental effort and overstimulation. One is similar to being involved in a high stress exam while at the same time being unable to make accurate assumptions about what the other person might be thinking or feeling and their expectations on appropriate responses or gestures. I just tell them that I have poor social instincts and have to use a decision tree and probabilities to decide what to say or how to respond and that I'm usually a bit stressed around others and have difficulty thinking clearly.

When I make a bad social mistake, I say, "I was raised by wolves and am still working on my people skills." This usually gets a laugh and keeps me out of trouble.

In terms of routines, I would guess that yours are probably different than those of NTs because you adhere to them more strongly than they do. For example, if an NT had to do something during the course of a day that is not part of their routine, they could adjust easily without any distress, but for you, it is probably very distressing. It's hard to know how distress affects you by not knowing you personally, but saying something along the lines of the above could be helpful.