I think I finally got a real friend.

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I hope no one takes this offence in my happiness.

But not too long ago I made a thread where I stated I thought to have ruined another friendship by the inevitable "meltdown of overanalysing" where for a (couple of) day(s) I get stuck cycling through my entire range of emotions and pretty much act on every single feeling, declaring eternal love and hate sometimes several times on the same day. (yay autism -and- ADHD)

But, we're still talking, instead of telling me to "f off", or "fading me out", even after giving her opportunity after opportunity, and let's be honest, reason after reason, she's still engaging conversation with me. Today I asked her to have a look at WP, to show her "I'm not alone in my problems", but after reading a couple of threads she decided she doesn't care about "the problems" and doesn't want to think about me as "with problems", she accepts me for who I am, differences and similarities as unique as within every person. She worded it better than that I can explain it, which doesn't happen often, which makes me believe she thought well about it and really meant it. Then we talked and joked like usual, as if she didn't just change my world .
I've always tried so hard to be normal, or hide the weirdness, however you want to look at it, and now she's here accepting me whole, who does she think she is, that's not how it's supposed to go .

For the first time since a long time, (and never because of friendship), I feel "at ease". (The only thing I can compare it with, when going on holiday when I was younger, and that feeling I had on the first evening of "no pressure, there's enough time to make friends and have fun before going home" (which of course disappeared after actually trying to interact with the kids there)). Yes yes, tears of happiness are rolling down my face right now, but one of those weird and nagging feelings that has been with me for so long has disappeared. It's like it made room for a new feeling, one I thought I already knew how it was supposed to feel, but now know I haven't, which is friendship.

I hope we'll stay friends for a long time, she's such a special person in her own ways, and I want to be around that.

I can see why you're happy. Congratulations.
Now remember not to cling so tightly you suffocate her. I'm not saying you do or will, but it is a temptation.

I'm happy that you made a friend
You seem pretty emotional about this, which I understand, but I don't think it would be a very good idea to share too many strong feelings with her at once if she's a new friend. I'm sure both of you will get to know each other more over time, and I hope that you have a long and happy friendship

I'm having a similar sort of situation. I over analyze then we fight. I told her again to check wp out, we aren't talking right now because we're both pretty upset after the last week or so of me just not calming down.... She said she still cares about me, but I said some mean things because I didn't understand or over analyzed or both. Right now I'm hoping I can be patient and just give her space and stop spamming her. I've done pretty good all day, I put up some reminders and what not. Anyway I'm glad it worked out for you man, I can't really expect the same result ofcourse but I've tried my best to help her understand the things I have to deal with and to be honest I don't know why she puts up with me at all. Very similar situation, just different people.

Also we've been friends for a few years, I always knew she was a friend. I keep hoping I'll stop upsetting her, it doesn't happen a whole lot but it happens.

Uuups...


I suck.


I think wishing her a happy friendship anniversary because "I just happened" to remember the date she first said she wanted to be friends pushed her over the proverbial edge of "special" to "creep".

Did I say I suck already?

Ooooooh. I'm so sorry.

I wouldn't worry about that.

I don't think you should do something like wishing her a happy friendship anniversary again But I'm sure you're still friends.

I would say the same.. Probably no card... But since u did it... U can tell her it's a habit you have, and that you do it for some few special friends. See, if y had send a card in my country it would be totally cute, autistic or not! But americans can be a little cold sometimes... I'm NT and i see myself kissing people goodbye or hugging when it's not "the right thing to do" too... Don't feel bad at all

I don't think that's creepy at all - I think it's really sweet and thoughtful!

Thanks so much for your replies everyone.

I took the advice and didn't turn it into a big deal in my head and just gave her some time/space. Today she started talking to me again "for real" (not just short messages/cancelling appointments as if she's "fading me out"), and she was doing some research on autism. She was reading "a list of problems people with autism have", which of course had many things that don't apply to me, or I've learned to hide/overcome, making her suggest I must be faking it for the financial aid, but I think she for the first time really realized "it's something real".

We did some studying via skype afterwards, me sharing my screen with the information slides, she sharing her cam, and when we we're done, she waved goodbye at me, I of course waved back, not realizing she couldn't see me, but she said "I know that you're waving ". Maybe I'm looking too much into it but I do -always- wave hello and goodbye to people so maybe she's recognizing it as one of my rituals.

Anyway.. I'm happy again, and -I've- learned that "making this friendship work" is a two way street, I have to learn how she is different from "the standard" and respect her desires and actions and without getting mad about that she's not doing it according to the "NT guidebook" as much as she has to learn about me.

She's truly amazing... I don't think there's anything in my repertoire of craziness that's worse than what we've already been through.

I don't think you're crazy, and I'm happy things worked out for you both