Social fatigue, leadership, and volunteering
I recently volunteered at a library, because I decided I need to get out and meet people to recover from the end of my marriage and to keep myself from getting too 'weird' by isolating myself--the more time I spend on my own, the quirkier I get, and it drives me up a wall.
The library latched onto my online experience (blogs, social media, etc.) and asked if I might help some teens set up a teen webpage for the library. I said sure. I'd never worked with teens and it seemed to fit the bill of 'interacting with other humans.' I like people, even if I'm not always great with them.
Problem is, I have no leading/facilitating experience, and I'm noticing severe social fatigue and a failure, on my part, to gracefully facilitate (act as a go-between between library staff and the teen group, which is brand new, as they design a website and suggest and plan teen programs, and provide some guidance when necessary) as opposed to just talking at the poor kids, offering haphazard ideas, taking control, and desperately hoping they like me. They're good kids and some of them are poised to be active leaders in the group, I think, and would do well. I'd like them to do well. But I'm already feeling a little scared that I'll collapse in front of them emotionally or get confrontational/possessive of control unintentionally, and that I'll have to keep turning to the the supervisors at the library for reassurance. I also find I need to sleep at least 3-4 hours after each meeting.
I want to be better around people, and I want these kids to have the chance to involve themselves with the library. But I also don't want to drain myself every weekend or set myself up to fail.
Any ideas? Tips? I always feel like I should just push myself through this kind of thing, but I'm not sure that's so.
Autinger
Toucan
Joined: 27 Aug 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 263
Location: Valkenswaard, Noord Brabant, The Netherlands.
My tip;
Make use of their skills, let the kid who appears to be the best leader take that roll so you can act as an "outside consultant".
That way you can still talk with and help each of them in their individual tasks, but also delegate tasks to the leader. If you've got a day where you feel like interacting less, you can say you want to observe and take notes which you can relay back at your leisure.
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Openly autistic.
The kind of teen who volunteers at a library is the best kind you could ever hope to interact with. Like the above poster said, let them do most of the work, and you show them how to do the things they don't know how to do. This project is by and for them. So in a way, you're working for them, rather than the other way around.
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Everything would be better if you were in charge.
I have a background in nonprofits and volunteer management. You've already got the advice you need in the above posts.
Don't be afraid to sit back and let the teens control the project. Set up your leaders, or a board of leaders if there are multiple and offer your services as a go-to for when they come to a wall or indecision.
It's very hard for me personally to let go of control of group projects, so I understand how stressful this can be. Try observing mostly and then perhaps at the end of each day you can give them a few bullet points of thoughts or opinions that you've come up with to help guide them in the right direction.
Be a facilitator, not a manager; A resource, not a rule book.
