Okay, what do you guys think?

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So, last week Thursday I had a bit of a fight with my friend. She had used my home address to order some stuff online because her housing situation was unsure a couple of weeks ago. My parents had noticed my name on the packages, and thought I had bought them for her and were talking about how she is using me. I got mad with them for not believing me and told my friend the next day that my parents thought she was using me. In my mind we were going to laugh about "the crazy parents", but she got upset and instantly offered to return the one thing (bike) she's loaning from me. The rest of the day she was quiet but after we went home and chatted some with phone apps, things appeared to be alright again. Edit: I have to note that she herself has always felt really used by (female) friends because she comes from a poor country but her parents work hard and do relatively well.

During the weekend she was rather quiet, but we got exam week this week so we/she had to study a lot, and on Sunday evening she did apologize for not talking to me.

On Monday ((I had shaved my beard for the first time in 4 years and when she walked into class, she looked at me like she had seen a ghost)), she initially sit next to me for like 10 seconds, ((and said she liked how I looked)), but then she got up and went to sit next to someone else. She looked a couple of times at me, but started to ignore me more and more and the hug she gave me at the end of the day was the weakest one ever. After school she barely said anything, and on Tuesday she ignored me even more. After the final exam I was waiting outside talking to some other people who finished early and when she came outside she looked at me but went and joined another group of people. I walked over to ask her how her exam went, and she just blatantly ignored me, I asked once more but got ignored again so I turned around and walked home (or at least to the train station) making it the first day in about two months we haven't said goodbye and given each other a hug at school.

When I got home she started typing to me on skype saying she did really bad in the exam and thought she was dumb, and flabbergasted I reacted normally, comforting her etc etc. but about 20 minutes later she started ignoring me again, and for the entire day. By the evening I had realized that she is only acting weird to me so it has to do something with me, and not the exams, so I send her a message telling her that I have no idea what the hell is going on, but that she either needs to ignore me more or be my friend more. On Wednesday we had a day off from school, and she ignored me completely, so I assumed she was trying to "fade me out" because she was done with me over the thing that happened the week before, being another of many moments of drama between us. So I send her another message saying I'd really like to know what's going on, but am just going to leave her alone. So today I pretty much ignored her and went straight home after school.

Then a couple of hours ago I wished her goodnight (part of my routine, couldn't keep myself from doing it) via an mobile app, and for the first time in weeks she reacts to my good night message wishing me a good night too, and she apologises for how she's been acting. So I react that I'm sorry too, but have -no- idea what is going on and that makes me fill in the blanks, and ask her to explain. She says "she doesn't know", so I say she can tell me anything, she says the problem is that she doesn't know what is happening either. So I send her a rather long message saying that I really really have no idea what is going on but that she's barely talking to me, ignoring me at school, and that I understand that she's my only friend while she has many other friends and that we need to make some kind of rules about being friends if she wants to continue being friends because "this" clearly isn't working any more.
Silence again.
So I send another message saying that if she doesn't want to continue being friends that she just needs to say it.
And she replies "it's not like that", so I ask her to tell me what it is like then because I'm stuck with knowing absolutely nothing. Then she says she will explain when she's okay. So I tell her, sure that's okay, but it still doesn't really say anything about "us" and how I should act to you at school tomorrow, but then she went silent again.

Now I'm 90% sure she's trying to fade me out, but something (well 10% then) tells me there's something more going on. I mean, does someone trying to get rid of you reply to your messages and apologize for their distant behaviour and promise to explain it later?

I put (( and ))'s around the only other "special thing" that happened this week but it's pretty far fetched, and then I'm implying she has either fallen in love with me after seeing me without my beard, or completely the opposite, now without my beard there's no mystery any more and she really thinks I'm ugly.

(Yes there could be a whole range of other stuff going on with her in her life, but she's only acting the way she's acting towards me, not other people at school, and up until a week ago she's told me everything going on in her life.)

So to recap the ideas;
- She wants to get rid of me
- She may have other problems, but doesn't want to share them with me, but they still cause her to treat -only me- weird for whatever reasons.
- The beard has something to do with it.

This sounds like the point at which you give her some space.

Let her know you are still her friend, but do not approach her so much. If she really wants to be friends with you, let her seek you out. Perhaps she is feeling pressured by other things that she does not want to share with you. If you are too attentive to her, she might be feeling emotionally crowded and this will make her 'run off'.

Try to make friends with other people as well...if she feels that she is YOUR only friend, it might feel like a burden for her. Share yourself with others...

Extra piece of information I learned today;
I heard through the grapevines that my friend had been depressed/crying because she "has no friends" in the beginning of the week.

This doesn't really make it clear to me if she doubts my friendship, and I should show it to her more,
or that she considers me a lost cause, and therefore feels alone.

I'm sorry but the beard thing really cracked me up. But maybe beard significance is different in the Netherlands than the US. O_o

It really sounds to me like you did everything right. The way you communicated is, in my opinion, the ideal aspie to NT method of communication: You said that X and Y confused you and can she please explain. You even apologized when you didn't do anything wrong, which is also correct.

She just has some issue and it's up to her to figure it out. Maybe you should branch out so you have two or three friends instead of just the one.

To me it sounds as though she's dealing with a personal issue that she's trying to work out on her own, and that she doesn't want to burden you with it. it sounds like she wants to continue the friendship with you, but now I guess isn't the right time. Your intention towards your friend is admirable, but I think you should give her some space for a while--she'll come around eventually.

Maybe she got the wrong idea and thought that you were trying to say you think she is using you in a roundabout way?
If she's not going to tell you what's wrong you can only speculate until she wants to tell you.
I think you can be almost certain your beard/lack of has nothing to do with it though

So, beard no? Edit: My picture is from a while ago, it was approaching Santa levels




Sorry but I'm going to write everything down because I really like the advice you guys are giving, in return I'll explain how I came to some difficult decisions.

First let me say that I've been sending her really long, I'm talking 2000-3000 character messages after school and around bed time, from the start (I went way overboard on my very first message to ask if she wanted to be my friend, but she replied really kindly, and said yes ) several times a week, and once she told me to make a summary because she hadn't had time to read it all (I think the longest ever) but wanted to give a reaction and wasn't going to have time all day, and sometimes she replies to even small things in the message, and most times she doesn't reply but has referenced things I said in those messages during talks, so I know she reads them and (think) appreciates them, although -somewhere- I know it could be the whole "suffocating leading to fading me out" thing, but since this is either the end anyway I'm just sticking to being myself, she either has to accept me in full glory or not at all. (*points at "openly autistic" signature at the bottom*

Anyway, after learning today she felt she has no friends, (little explanation; She's a foreign student studying in the Netherlands, so she automatically hangs around students from her own country, but who, as she told me before, doesn't really like, but since she still hangs out with them and lives with them I saw it as them being her friends and that she was just venting to me.), I send her a pretty long message saying (and I'm just going to basically copy it) that I heard what she had said about feeling lonely, (I thought about this, but since she clearly said it in a public space, and the friend also openly said it in the group after school, I felt I could say it since anyone of those people could technically send her a message saying "hey I heard you feel lonely, sorry to hear" kind of message) and that she shouldn't worry that I don't consider her my friend, and that I like her for who she is, good and bad, and that I'm sorry she feels she can't talk to me about it, then since I'm still not 100% sure what is going on (maybe she's thinking about going back to her own country, I don't know but have many theories haha) and to "save face" (so important to learn not to get end up being called a creepy stalker ), I tell her that I want her to be happy however, wherever, with whoever, but that she deserves to have people around her to let her know that she's an awesome loveable person. Then, (and again I thought on this alone for 20 minutes and decided to do it because I did really want to let her know I care and she has told me before and first and we've had lengthy discussions about the difference between "love" and "in love" edit2: and we've come to the conclusion that our friendship has "love", but we've barely said "it" so it's not like I'm/she's/we're going "love you" (or any kind of "weak way" of saying it) every night), I end the message saying she's awesome and that I love her and that I'm sorry she feels sad and wish I had the cure.

She read it, but didn't reply.

Then as part of my good night message 2 hours ago, (and looking it up now, it's longer than I thought), rather than talking about "us" (which makes the decisions a lot easier), I wish her soft dreams that give her some answers, and I tell her the world sometimes feels like an unfair place, I say she should let nothing and no one get in her way, that she should put her own well being first, then I apologize for sending her messages rather than leaving her alone like I had said I'd do before, but that I've got a lot of experience with feeling lonely and depressed myself and that I'd hate for her to have to feel that way, and that she has to remember that there's sunshine after every storm and that she will come out of this stronger, and that she has to have faith.

She hasn't read it yet.

Edit3:
And now I've decided to just wait it out and not send her any messages any more besides wishing her sweet dreams because that's just part of my routine nowadays as my way of feeling connected to her.

That would seriously annoy the hell out of me. I absolutely cannot stand when people become distant with me for absolutely no reason. That creates confusion rampant in my mind. Just thinking about your situation between you and your friend causes me stress.

I say give her a little space, eventually she'll come around and tell you what's up, hopefully.

I don't think you have done anything wrong I would carry on as you are and keep messaging her. Less long messages though and I agree wishing her goodnight is OK but no more than that for a couple of weeks. Carry on as you say you will in the last bit of your post. I think the way you word things is really genuine and cute.