I'm going to a wedding alone, and I don't know what to do
My friend is getting married, and I'm invited. I've been to plenty of weddings, but always as either a videographer, or a member of the party. So I always had something to do, or I had lots of friends or family around.
This time is different. I'm invited to a friend's wedding, only I know basically no one there, and I'm terrified to be situations like this. I'm a little sad actually because I had it as a goal last year when I got the invite, that I would've found a girlfriend by now, and she could go with me, and I wouldn't be alone.
Instead, I'm just plain worried. I'm not a dancer...I'm too self conscious. In fact at a wedding once someone tried to pull me on the dance floor and I had a panic attack and yelled at her. That's how scared I am of it.
I'm afraid I'll be stuck at a table with all the old people or the sad divorcees or something, and I'll look like a loser. I hope I might get put at a table with single people my age, so maybe I might actually meet someone I'll fall in love with.
I wish I'd never committed to go, but I did because I was so hopeful I was going to find someone to go with me. But it's a week away and there's no one. I think I may just show up, drop off my gift, and try to sneak out soon after, to avoid too much embarrassment. Maybe I lie and say I'm sick?
Have any of you been in similar situations? How do you make it through such a stressful event?
1. Are you invited to the wedding, the reception or both. I've seen people invited to one but not the other.
2. You OBLIGATION as a guest is very simple. Be quiet and respectful at the wedding and at the reception, you pay your respects to the bride and groom (they usually do the reception line as guests arrive, but much depends on how the wedding is planned) by thanking them for including you in their celebration of their union.
Once you've done that...you can leave whenever you want.
I'd suggest (if you are going to both) that you see if you connect with anyone at the wedding. People chit-chat and introduce themselves to one another before the ceremony begins. If nothing comes of that, go to the reception, do the reception line, and be prepared to quietly leave as soon as you feel you've had enough...presuming you don't meet someone who makes staying for the whole reception worthwhile. It might suck for them if they paid for a meal you never stayed to eat, but if they KNOW you well enough, they'd understand why you couldn't stick around.
It's an easy one. They either have made table arrangements to seat all the singles together, or they've overlooked an important aspect of a wedding party. If it's the latter, then you're perfectly fine staying for just a short time and then leaving. It's also perfectly acceptable to ask beforehand if there will be a table for singles. If your friend says there isn't, you can apologize beforehand for staying a short time, or you could hire an escort or ask a friend (can be same sex) to do you the favor of coming with you (but tell the bride that you're coming with someone if you do).
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There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats - Albert Schweitzer
I had that exact experience at an office Christmas party once. I had to throw off three people who were trying to pull me onto a dance floor. They thought it was great fun, until they were nearly injured. If I'd been diagnosed back then, I'd have sued them for harassment.
In any case, arrive a bit early to the wedding, drop off your gift, attend the ceremony and then leave before the reception. Trust me, the couple will be far too busy to notice one way or the other. Or send the gift with someone else and just don't go. Don't let other people's social expectations cause you an anxiety attack.
I had that exact experience at an office Christmas party once. I had to throw off three people who were trying to pull me onto a dance floor. They thought it was great fun, until they were nearly injured. If I'd been diagnosed back then, I'd have sued them for harassment.
In any case, arrive a bit early to the wedding, drop off your gift, attend the ceremony and then leave before the reception. Trust me, the couple will be far too busy to notice one way or the other. Or send the gift with someone else and just don't go. Don't let other people's social expectations cause you an anxiety attack.
I think I'm going to do that. I have to check and see I think I'm invited just to the reception. I'm gonna show up, drop off my gift, maybe eat a little and then get the hell out of there.