Did I have a point?

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I'll try to keep this short but still include the relevant facts (trying to be objective here).

Backstory: I've known this girl - let's call her Sally - for three months. About a month in, I asked her out on a date and she politely declined, saying she wanted to be just friends. I agreed, but I did continue to have feelings for her afterwards (which was probably wrong, I'll concede that). She had an internet boyfriend at the time, I learned.

Fast forward: Internet boyfriend broke up with Sally, and she started dating one of our mutual friends but who she's known much longer. I had a suspicion there was something between the two of them but I lacked the social experience to say definitively it was something more than friendship. I wasn't told one way or the other, nor should I have been. One night, Sally sent me a text inviting me to a bar with her and this friend. I wanted to ask what the occasion was but went anyway. About two hours in, while Sally was in the restroom, I asked the friend plainly if they were dating and he said yes. At this point I'm livid because I feel like they invited me out to be a third wheel to their date. I told them I felt I needed to go home, excused myself to pay my bill, and then left out the back without saying goodbye.

Aftermath: I sent a text to Sally the next day saying how I felt the previous day was inconsiderate and I asked for an apology for inviting me out on what felt like false pretenses - here I feel I have a point. She said they invited other friends out to the bar but that I was the only one to show up. What this tells me is that the night at the bar was originally conceived of as a date for the two of them, and inviting friends was an afterthought (there was no third person they collaborated with, otherwise they would have been there). I felt this was a very wrong, naive thing to do, to invite a friend to a date. I felt I was invited on false pretenses because 'a night out with friends' has different connotations than 'a night out with my boyfriend and friends'. Keep in mind I didn't know they were dating.

I didn't get my apology because Sally didn't feel like she had anything to apologize for, so I didn't argue the point and just cut contact with both of them. I generally feel good about the outcome, but I'd like a second opinion. What should I have learned from this? Thanks for reading.

you were right to feel that way after all she knew how you felt about her in the past but then again i myself would never have gone knowing her and her boyfriend might be there if i still had feelings for her

While I understand that you were feeling hurt, disappointed and uncomfortable in this situation, Sally was right in that she did have nothing to apologize for. It seems that her intentions were sincere in that she indeed wanted a simple night out with a bunch of friends (including her boyfriend). However, she could not control the how the night turned out (only you showed up) and assumed that you were still having fun and were okay with just the three of them hanging out.

She was unaware of how this resulting situation made you feel (overwhelmed with emotion), but she was genuinely not aware of this rather than actively trying to deceive you or hurt you. I think you should apologize in this situation for getting upset with Sally as you are making it sounds like she had intentionally done something wrong when in reality, no one could control the outcome of this situation.

It's perfectly fine to ask beforehand, when you're invited somewhere by someone, a few details. In this case, you could've asked her if she was dating this guy, who else would be there, what the reason was for the invitation, etc. In a casual, light tone, without making too much of it. And if the answers don't satisfy you or show that you won't feel comfortable or may feel bad at the outing, just pass.

I agree entirely with the two posters before me.