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SagePaige17
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Joined: 31 Mar 2014
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01 Apr 2014, 10:40 am

Do you allow people to walk all over you?

I try not to but it always happens again back at my old job people used to take advantage of me because i was the quite girl
Why didn't I speak up
Why didn't I say anything?
What's wrong with me?



b_edward
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01 Apr 2014, 11:46 am

I can relate, a lot. Even speaking up doesn't usually help. especially if you get "shh... just a minute. " or "quiet, the grownups are talking" (that 2nd one is paraphrasing, that is not *literally* what they say. But it is what they mean.)

I recommend something I'm trying to do myself right now. Have a list of things to repeat out loud every morning.

First, attitudes you need to remember and practice.

like:
* Never give away Too much information
* Never apologize for asking a question
* Don't get caught up in Stockholm syndrome / Don't fraternize with the enemy
or whatever attitudes you know you need to remember / practice

Second, lists of phrases you can have at the ready. Things you never generally say, but then later you wish you had

like:
"Do you really think you are the only one trying to get through the hallway"
"You have completely misunderstood my point"

One useful one for me has been:
"OK, you try that and let me know how it works out for you."
Like when people give you crap like "that is why you should always do such and such... " (and it is stuff that was too obvious, they missed the point, completely, or you have already tried what they were suggesting.)

The important thing is, find out what items work for you, repeat them out loud every day, and you will have an arsenal at your ready, so that you will be more likely to say what you should have said, at the right time.



AutisticGuy1981
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Joined: 1 Apr 2014
Age: 40
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Location: Newcastle Upon Tyne.

02 Apr 2014, 7:35 am

I'm quiet and would rather not speak up like you ,but I'm not totally against confrontation because I know being my height most people wouldn't want to get into a fight with me so I've learned to start sticking my ground a bit.

I'm really a big softy though :D
sometimes people cross over the street at night rather than walk past me... :lol:

pretty strange considering I'm autistic and just the thought of someone asking me for the time worries me.

If I don't want to do something someone asks me now I just flat out refuse, you might feel more awkward than just giving in but eventually it stops being a big deal as people just accept that's how you are.



accountinglad
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03 Apr 2014, 5:50 am

its hard to know until after its happened so many fake people out there



b_edward
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03 Apr 2014, 9:28 am

One thing to remember is to slow down and take a few steps back, mentally. That way you don't rush into letting someone walk over you and regret it later.