Is it unreasonable to be offended when asked to move?

Post Reply New Topic

Throughout my life in school, I've always been seen as the quiet kid. This probably stems from my insecurities about my race and appearance.
(I'm a Indian who doesn't have the best appearance)

After moving from India to Los Angeles, California when I was 6, I adjusted quite and didn't notice the different culture until I was treated differently by others. I realized quickly that I was very different to others. I also struggled to socialize with others due to undiagnosed ADHD and OCD. This isolated me from others and increased my bullying.

Eventually I moved to another school and another where this kept on going on. I moved to another state and decided to start new but the differences still showed. Finally I went to England in 2013. In just one year I've managed to ruined my reputation and get people who I thought of as friends to isolate me.

Anyway back to my original question, a few days ago, this guy and his friend (one of the ones who thinks i'm weird) didn't have any place to sit in the back, and high schoolers like to sit as far back as possible. There was one seat next to me near the back. I could see in their face they were reluctant to sit next to me and then asked If i could move to the front. I told then NO, THERE ENOUGH SEATS IN THE FRONT AND I CAME HERE FIRST. And I know It wasn't rude, he is one of the jerks of the school.

We had 3 periods of the class. After the 1st period there was a break. The teacher said we can leave our bags and come back after class. I left my things and went for the break. I came back and saw toss my bag to the front where he was sitting. He saw me and said 'I'm sorry'

He could have done that to one of his friends who were sitting near me. The only reason he did that was he knew I was quiet and probably wouldn't tell a teacher. Also the teacher we had wasn't very strict.

This isn't the first time though that's happened. I can't understand why someone just cant bear to be near me for 180 minutes. I find it interesting how no one expects me not to feel offended by that but when I express my opinion on a particular subject, they feel like I've insulted them deeply?

Hi-
Regardless of anything that happened afterward, I am in awe of you for standing your ground and staying seated during the first part of class. You used assertive, not rude, communication. I have been working on that for 50 years and still find it difficult. Good for you! Keep on doing it and they will give up bothering you.
Also, I think being Indian is a cool and interesting thing, and you will find a proper friend someday. All you need is one. Just be patient and kind to yourself while awaiting your kindred spirits. Good luck...
Amelia

It sounds like traditional bullying. It doesn't have to do with you specifically and sitting next to you, he just wants to have someone to bully because it increases his authority and the respect he gets. My best advice would be to try to ignore him. Be as non-reactive as possible. He will try to push you down and if you leave the school he will find someone else.

You're still young and that's awesome. Looks DOESN'T MATTER when it comes to making friends. What matters is social skills and self confidence. Social skills is something you can read and practice and confidence is something you automatically get as you notice how you make improvements socially. Try to practice as much as possible, be that awesome easygoing confident Indian dude everyone likes. You can be that person. It will take effort, it might take a year or more, you will fail several times, but you can be that person if you're persistant
Good luck