I feel super embarrassed over something I did....

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I'm 15, and a boy, and I'm Muslim and there's this girl who i hate and who hates me, yet I'm super sexually attracted to her, and I had a recurring fantasy where I raped her. I told my psychologist over the phone, and he said he'd schedule an appointment. I then called my imam and asked him for advice and he pretended not to hear me and we said bye and hung up. What do I do?

I don't think you hate this girl at all.

I think you want to have emotional feelings for her, but you're afraid she will reject you, or you feel she already has, in some way, and your fantasy is a way of mentally acting out your resentment of her, for not loving you the way you wish she did.

There's nothing healthy in holding on to feelings of hate for anyone. Those kinds of feelings are only damaging to you.

And definitely do not rape anybody, that's a very bad idea.

You have to mention it to him again. You can't just never bring it up again, because then you'll always think about the time he didn't respond. The longer you wait, the worse it'll get. You should bring it up again, the sooner the better.

I concur with Willard. Sexuality at your age can be a tricky confusing thing. I think deep down you're attracted to this girl even if you don't consciously realize it, it may even be that you're attracted to the fight. Either way, a dream is a dream not an action. We can't control what we dream and fantasize about, but we can control our actions. Point being don't feel bad, it's just a dream.

I'm not trying to be rude and please try not to take this personally but i've read several of the MANY threads you've started and it's quite clear that you're alone and hurt and trying to reach out to people for help.

I just don't think you're doing it in a very appropriate way. I was first shocked to hear you state that you're a pedophile ... yet you also said you're 15 years old. And now this story about dreaming of raping someone ??

Again I don't mean to be rude, but are you sure you're not sort of ... exaggerating the truth to try and get attention? There's nothing wrong with that per se, but such an aggressive approach is going to be taken offensively by some and extremely hurtful to others (for example to a woman reading your threads who had been raped in her life).

We're all here to help you bud, please PM me if you just wanna chat or whatever, but I think you should try and tone down your ... 'ideas'/'experiences' because those topics are incredibly painful to someone whose been victim to those crimes.

I was once an RA (yeah .. believe it or not they hired an aspie to be in charge of two floors of university students lol) and had to help a girl who had been raped and it hurt ME so much that I cannot possibly even begin to comprehend what this did to this poor woman.

At 15 you're still in the fish bowl so you don't really understand reality (and that's not your fault, everyone at that age is), but some of what you've said can be very hurtful and destructive to certain people.

Please bud PM me if/when you're feeling down or if you need advice or help on any of the issues you've been spamming these forum's with. I would be more then happy to do anything I can to help you. It's difficult being an Aspie, esp. a young one still in the fish bowl and i'd like to help you bud, so please don't hesitate to contact me. I want you to be happy and I want to do whatever I can to help you work towards that goal.