trouble socializing bc lacking knowledge of certain topics

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As a person on the higher end of the spectrum, do you find your knowledge about specific topics and the lacking of knowlege about other topics (such as the majority of things that most NTs talk about) to be a major factor which hinders social skills? I understand a lot of AS/HFA people have trouble socializing due to other issue that include sensory issues, not understanding certain cues, ect but I find with me, the lacking of knowledge about things that people are generally interested to be the main factor. I feel like if I knew a lot about sports, news, music, movies, celebrities, and current events, I would have no problem socializing and making friends but none of it interests me and even when I try to learn these things I seem to struggle more compared to things I am interested in so I'm pretty much left in the dust when I attempt to interact with people. Do you find that to be the case with you too?

I often have this problem, and a lot of times it's just because my tastes and interests are so unconventional compared to most people's. I can yammer on and on about computers, retro gaming, and obscure music, yet I get completely lost when the direction is steered more towards modern gaming, popular music, television, film, and other things "normal" people like.

I actually had (maybe still have a little) that same problem. There's no way around it: to successfully communicate with the majority, you need to have some knowledge of what's going on/what people do/etc ( sports games, pop culture, politics, ect). It just makes it so much easier to start conversations and be engaged in them. Good luck !

I have this setback constantly. I almost never watch TV or movies, play about an hour of video games per week, and avoid current events like cancer. Just yesterday while talking to a couple of coworkers I got "the look" again. That look of combined frustration and amazement that you haven't seen a single movie they mentioned in the last 15 minutes.

That often happens to me. Especially as regards celebrities. It does render me somewhat isolated.

Would Miss PacMan be an example of Retro-gaming? I used to play it in the early 80's--somewhat obsessively.

Exactly! Exactly!

I understand this completely. A lot of people I know are really interested in music, for instance. While I like music and I am familiar with popular songs on the radio, I don't know anything about the artists or know when a new album is coming out, and I can't talk about the different types of music, etc. I often don't know what to talk about with other people that isn't academically related (less of a problem in medical school because a common problem for medical students in general is they don't know what to talk about besides medical school since it ends up consuming one's whole life!). I don't know people who share some of my interests. But even when they do share an interest (a TV show or whatever), I feel like I don't know what to talk about sometimes!

Constantly. I just don't really care what the current fads are, and it feels tedious/annoying keeping up with things that are so temporary in nature. If I'm going to fill my mind with information I'd rather it be something with true value, something that lasts longer than a month before it's no longer in style.
The worst time of my life was college. I foolishly believed I would fit in there since everyone was there for knowledge. I was very surprised that after class my classmates would rather discuss current movies, celebrities, etc, rather than discuss and disseminate the lecture we'd just left.
Then again, it had it's advantages. While they were discussing their fads they were also neglecting their studies. I was the go-to guy for the last minute paper, test tutor, and general outside the class teacher. I estimate the NTs funded half of my degree.

Yeah I have the same problem too, but not just limited to college, but during high school and middle school especially. I could never just "fit in" with the group, more or less any group or niche in particular because I don't know enough to belong there. I never really had stellar grades until very late in high school (which was also the time where I took academics much more seriously) and in college.

@Aristophanes
I share the same sentiments as well. Speaking of being the "go to" person for last minute papers, test tutor, and outside of lecture class teacher, doesn't that end up not being a real friendship but rather almost like those people are taking advantage of you? (It seems like a one-way street, if they are only friends just because you know something, but not because of sharing common interests or getting to know you well)

Yes...if you believe in friendship, and I no longer view the world with such rose-tinted glasses. I'm very honest with myself anymore: if an attractive female approaches me I assume it's because there's a skill I possess that she requires. So if I happen to catch flirting behavior it annoys me because I understand there's an ulterior motive and the flirting is just an attempt to sell my services at a cheaper rate. Same goes for men, if one approaches me about some common subject and lets me ramble on I assume it's a thinly veiled attempt to gain favor for some skill I possess.

Armed with that philosophy I approach every social exchange as a business transaction of sorts. I have a habit of getting right to the point: if someone starts chit-chat or I receive an unsolicited text on my phone from a casual friend I always open with "What do you want?" or what I believe is the nicer version "What can I do for you?" After the other party gets over the "offensiveness" of my greeting they almost always have some request, whether it be some project they want me to do or just to "socialize."

And yes, I believe "socializing" is a commodity. More often than not socialization is an attempt for the other party to boost their self-esteem or sense of worth. If I have to listen, encourage, and boost the other party well that's time I could have spent doing something else that I actual wanted to do and thus yes, there is a cost. Not that everything is monetary, but in an exchange such as this I believe they can listen to me drone on about classical literature and pretend to enjoy it for however long I pretended to enjoy listening to their personal problems.

I know it sounds cold, even for an aspie, but I no longer get taken advantage of like when I was in my teens/early 20's. It can be exceptionally lonely, but I get comfort from the logic of it. And every once in a while you do find someone who's genuine, that doesn't actually want something, just to mutually share time and interests without all the pointless social games.

Can totally relate to this 100% --- remembering my last full-time day job last year, I found myself completely alienated whenever the conversation topic turned usually to football or Game of Thrones (with the men), and reality tv/soaps (with the women)... urghhh... I ended up keeping myself to myself as a result. Seems interest in political intrigue and foriegn affairs is considered rather esoteric by the general masses...

I experience this somewhat. I actually do follow the latest developments in pop music, and to an extent Hollywood films as well, so I'm usually up to speed on these topics, while my relatives and their acquaintances usually aren't.

On the flip side of this, while I do have a couple of fields of interest (linguistics, Indonesian culture, wildlife, prehistory), a lot of other topics are well beyond my reach (most culture, literature, the arts, history, politics, economics, computers). So, when I'm among a crowd of more intellectual people, I actually find myself stumped for not knowing what to say most of the time... especially when the topic is architecture, or current politics, or theatre, etc. etc. When the conversation turns to one of my specific fields of interests, I turn into a motormouth, but otherwise, I feel I'm at a disadvantage, as much as when I'm among a non-intellectual crowd like my family's acquaintances, and the topics are more banal and mundane.

This is likely my biggest barrier to being as socially confident as I would ideally like to be. When a new topic that I don't know about is introduced, I do ask questions about it and pretend to be interested in it. This is a good technique as I get to learn about what the other person values/finds interesting and I can save this in mind for future conversations, making it easier for me to contribute to them. Acting interested in whatever the person is talking about, even if you aren't, is also a way to make yourself a more likable person to others.

Although this has led to some popular interests of mine being cultivated (mostly certain movies, tv shows, and current events), the main problem for me is actually getting interested/into some of these things, often not because I haven't tried getting into them, but they either have just failed to hold my interest or at times go against my personal values. For example, I am a vegetarian, and it's hard to connect with others who like talking about the various ways to cook meat or the meat dish they ordered at this one restaurant.

Heavily mainstream people are challenging to get along with for me because I never get to talk about what I would like to and they are so focused on inane conversation without any depth. It's like running into a dead end every time. I *hate* that there are people that I see often (i.e. my boyfriend's family) but don't talk much with and it's because we have different experiences/interests and it's so damn hard for me to know how to connect with them. It is so awkward and I hate it so freaking much because all I want is for people to like me.

exactly exactly every word you said describes my version of this struggle exactly!

Exactly. I can't believe how much you said here resonates with me.

I do like some of the popular TV and music today, but I don't know what I'd do with most people activity-wise. A lot of people I know of are still into clubs, parties, or spas.