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MonsterGuy
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13 May 2014, 5:02 pm

I met this girl at a school I was shadowing at, and I got her email address, and so far we've exchanged 13 emails, and in the last 5 emails, she said "I'm studying for a test" among other things, then i asked "Say can i have your phone number?" and she said "sorry, but i don't know it and im too busy to look" then i said "its okay :) and i don't wanna keep you waiting, i wish you luck with whatever it is you're doing," and she said "kay bye" was she scared or was she actually busy?



1401b
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13 May 2014, 6:55 pm

MonsterGuy wrote:
[...] was she scared or was she actually busy?

Who knows?
Though if someone has been mentioning how busy they are, either:
1. They're trying to stop engaging with you at this moment for the reasons stated.
2. They're trying to stop engaging with you at this moment for the reasons other than stated.

Basically, usually a person is saying, "I gotta go now," maybe they're tired or maybe just about anything else, but that's a good time to give them what they're asking for and end the conversation in a way that let's them off the hook, "Oh, crap, yeah me too! ttl."
It's pretty much the wrong time to say, "Hey! Why don't you give me a much more invasive and intense communication channel to really interrupt whatever it is that you're currently wanting to do."
I know you didn't say that literally and word for word, but you said it metaphorically.
It probably also came across as grabby and needy.

"I wish you luck with whatever it is you're doing," is unmitigatingly formal (relationship distancing) and implies that you disbelieve the reason she gave (calling her a liar), making you sound bitter and demanding.

I'm guessing you probably mostly meant exactly what you wrote (but be honest, were you annoyed even a little bit? or scared?) rather than meaning, "Fine, Fu*k off and die you lying b*tch!"

Also be careful about how fast you try to advance friendships and/or relationships.

If she's single(ish) and ever -even for one second- judged you for possible romance then everything you ever say and do from that instant on is going to be judged as if you're courting her no matter how many millions of times you say you just want to be friends.

This means that if you are truly NOT courting her (even if you're trying to pretend you're not) you WONT be following the normal courtship script that she's expecting and consequently you'll look creepy.
This is especially true if anywhere in your head you think you'd like to date her but are trying to pretend to yourself or her that you just want to be friends.

The fact that you posted this question kinda means you were probably a bit clutchy, needy, insecurish, and likely seemed a bit creepy.
Which I don't mean as criticism, I mean you can watch your own behaviors/feelings for hints or clues of how you likely handled earlier situations so that you can modify them in the future.

Did this make any sense at all?


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em_tsuj
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13 May 2014, 9:58 pm

When she said, "I am busy studying for a test," she was telling you that she did not want to talk to you AT THE MOMENT, to please stop sending her e-mails. The fact that you keep sending messages would have been annoying at the least and possibly scary. Whether or not she is telling the truth about studying for a test is irrelevant. If a person says they are busy, ALWAYS leave them alone unless it is urgent. If you don't you'll come across as annoying and the person will want to avoid you.