Why doesn't anyone want to be friends outside of school?

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Chernobyl
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

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Joined: 10 Dec 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 38
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16 May 2014, 10:04 pm

None of my "friends" ever invite me to anything and only some of them even talk to me outside of school. I feel weird always being the one that asks to hang out. The only time I wasn't was last month when a girl asked me but for some reason she wasn't able to that weekend and she hasn't asked me again. Yesterday me and another girl were talking and laughing the entire class and that's the first time we really talked together. As summer approaches I just want to do stuff with people this time but I don't know how to get them to invite me. What confuses me most is that some of them go out of their way just to talk to me sometimes for over 10 minutes even, but they still don't do anything with me outside of school. I'm trying to think of reasons why this happens and I came up with a few. I'm feeling that they are busy doing other things, doing stuff with other people and don't think of inviting me, or aren't aware that I like them that much even though I always say we can meet up any time, even if it's 3AM to just talk. Since I'm only going to see them a few more times before summer I want to give them my number and tell them we should do something together but I don't know if I should since we haven't really known each other for long and it is awkward coming from me who is quiet all the time



fossil_n
Snowy Owl
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Joined: 3 May 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Female
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17 May 2014, 1:54 am

I've struggled with this too. Both my therapists have encouraged me to be the one to invite people to do things, and I'm always reluctant, but it does work sometimes. It can take a lot of courage to do, and you have to be prepared for it to be unsuccessful (that is always really hard for me, especially if people give maybes, or cancel at the last minute), but it can work. Instead of saying a general "let's hang sometime" (which I think unfortunately can be seen as just a polite thing to say, rather than a serious invitation), try to arrange something specific.