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TheZachadoodle
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16 May 2014, 3:30 pm

I'm having this problem that I tend to sound very aggressive and rude when I voice my opinion. I sound like I'm forcing my beliefs on someone. When it comes to giving advice I have this fear that if I'm right then no one would care about it they would fail dramatically. Communication is extremely difficult for me. I want to be a film director which requires giving a lot of opinions, but my God is communication difficult for me. I don't have this way of sounding, clear, concise, and gentleman like when I give an opinion. Instead I sound somewhat like an aggressive thirteen year old. I want to sound more like the sophisticated college young adult that I am. Online it is harder because you have to type it out. I see people who aren't aspies that can voice their opinion without being attacked about it. There is never a sense of relief, safety, or assurance when I voice my opinion. I just sound aloof.



BornThisWay
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16 May 2014, 3:54 pm

I read your post with interest...you say you're in college? Have you thought about taking an acting class - not going as a major, but as an extra curricular type thing? Okay - on the face of it, it sounds like a waste of time - but 'all the world's a stage, and we but actors' (to mangle a bit of the Bard)

What I'm talking about is learning step by step how to project a consciously constructed persona. I'm not talking about doing something devious or ethically inappropriate, but about achieving skills in creating the impression you want - with AS folks this is work - And yeah, it's acting...and it's okay to do this. So why not get professional help - like an acting coach? It might even be fun, since it's not 'real life' - but the skills can transfer into a measure of the day to day behaviors you say you want.



TheZachadoodle
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16 May 2014, 7:09 pm

Thank you for taking interest, I am majoring in Drama. I have taken classes that deal with theater. I am also going to film school to major in film. It really is not a waste. I have talked to my theater director several times about acting. I guess that what I'm doing is helping me. The skills in theater are helping me project facial expressions more. What I'm really concern with is how you show your opinion without making it look like you are overly sensitive. Or taking the opinion.



SammichEater
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16 May 2014, 8:03 pm

Say things like "I think..." or "I believe that..." Do what you can to ask for verification at every step, such as by asking "Would you agree that this is true?" and then you could continue, "And if this is true, then that may also mean..." and so on. The key to not being aggressive when expressing yourself is to outwardly express doubt. Saying "I could be wrong, but..." might help a lot.

Aggressive: "Hitler didn't do anything wrong."

Passive: "I could be wrong, but I believe that Hitler wasn't such a bad guy."

Aggressive: "Gay people don't deserve the right to vote."

Passive: "You are entitled to your belief, but I disagree. I don't think gay people should be able to vote."


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TheZachadoodle
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Joined: 18 Feb 2011
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16 May 2014, 8:37 pm

Actually I think that is being assertive and not passive. But you actually have the right answer. :)

In my opinion, I think that homosexuals are just like us. I know it may sound ridiculous to you, but they are human beings. They should be given a right to vote and marry.

I don't think it is right to say Hitler did nothing wrong, because from what I remember he persecuted people.

How does that sound?