How do you "accept yourself"?

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One does not simply... accept oneself. Especially in regards to social status.

I do not accept myself. What I see in me is a miserable failure at life, always alone, always depressed. I try to small talk with my AA/NA groups but I can't find the words. I'm horrible in social situations.

find other people similar to oneself. try to find common ground with other people similar to oneself. I lucked out in finding my Olympia square pegs aspie meetup group, I mighta gone my whole life not meeting others like myself if I hadn't have stumbled onto it when I did.

I didn't accept myself until I began holding myself to my own standard for myself over the standard of the group. The group standard I was familiar with ensured that I could never be good enough.

Try "big talk" as opposed to small talk. Aspies are interested in talking about their Aspieness, how to handle various social situations, etc. It something we have in common so that's a good starting point. And when you get to know the people better, sometimes so-called small talk -- the little details of their lives -- becomes big talk.

In my group, occasionally someone will start in on a special interest, and we let them go on for a little while, though the group leader is there to nudge things along so nobody will monologue too long.

I accept myself. I know I am doing my best and if something goes wrong it isn't really my fault because I did what I could. I can even laugh about my mistakes and I got no problem saying "Yes, I did it. So?" if someone points them out. Of course I don't like my anxiety and poor social skills but it doesn't make me hate myself. Everyone got some faults they struggle with. No one is perfect. Even though I always try to be.

There are two kinds of people: those who have a personality with which self-acceptance comes more or less naturally, and those who do not. For those who don't, their best bet is the sheer exhaustion caused by the negative psychological effects of a lack of self-acceptance. At some point, one simply no longer has the energy to dislike oneself.

They can consistently work on their self-image, and they can maintain lives that are sufficiently full to distract them from their concerns, but these strategies do not work as well because they require motivation, fuel from within. The effects of exhaustion require no work at all.

You don't just decide to accept yourself and have it happen, self acceptance is a spectrum too.

I hated everything about myself fiercely, thought I was inadequate in every way imaginable... I think I would have been old enough to be legally considered an adult before I let go of any small part of this... But that's how it starts I think, you just kind of realise that you aren't as terrible as you thought you were or realise that the way you see yourself and the way other people see you (and perhaps the way you are) just don't match up and let go of some of the self-hated.

My views on myself have changed slowly but surely over the last couple of years to the point now where it's more or less neutral which is a huge improvement. I realised that although I have some deficiencies socially, I have some real strengths mentally, that this was a trade-off and one was not better than the other... people with autism are very specialised, or so it seems to me! They have their weak points but they are counterbalanced by their strengths, and like a bishop in chess if you set up situations where the weaknesses don't matter and the strengths are being well utilised, they can be some of the most powerful pieces!

In other words, don't judge a fish by it's proficiency in tree-climbing!

It has also helped me to manage my perceived weaknesses... To try and very seriously separate which parts are self perceived and which parts are more objective. This is easier said than done. I eventually learned I was not hideously ugly but this is how I viewed myself, so I looked at myself in the mirror more and video chatted online more until I could identify with my own image and accept it. My body was (and still is) skinny and weak, I decided to change that and started lifting weights. By looking at myself more I started to accept myself for my appearance, and by changing my diet and starting to exercise I worked toward becoming a me I could accept even more.

Self acceptance is still an ongoing struggle for me, but the start was the hardest part by far. Try and be proactive about your problems, take baby steps. It's a slow process.

In regards to the aspect of social status, it has never bothered me. I feel slightly jealous of the financially secure, but only of the security aspect vs perceived elevated status.

I just self for who I am, I don't focus on the negatives, any negatives of me I find are simply improved or identified as a limitation. I have often let go of things to the point it's not worth it to be self-judgmental.

I don't compare myself to others, feeling equal rather than inadequate from everyone else.

I am gradually segueing from defective to different.

I'm still trying to learn how to accept myself. Sometimes I find that the more I accept myself, the less other people accept me. Being on the more "NT" side of the autism spectrum, I have to deal with people a lot more often, and those people tend to expect a lot more of me than I wish they would.

Exactly I also find the more I 'accept myself', the less people accept me. Especially in my community and also by family. "Letting go of self hatred" makes it worse and worse until it escalates into a situation where jobs and friends are lost. I have to crush down every part of me in order to build fool's gold from dross, but at least it's not dross.

Agree with EsotericResearch. The more comfortable I let myself feel, the more people get angry with me and the less acceptable I seem to be to others.