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kaedatiger
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22 May 2014, 4:12 am

I'm having difficulty finding resources on improving charisma. Pretty much everything I find is an analysis rather than a how-to. I've been getting by mostly fine thus far by reading Psychology Today blogs and trying to live up to my ideals, but I'm about to switch to a communications major and feel like it couldn't hurt to boost my personal appeal by actively trying to learn charisma. Any recommendations?



sacrip
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22 May 2014, 8:29 am

Ask your DM if you can reroll your stats.

Seriously, though, all the charisma tips; smile, match body language, active listening, etc...are only structures built on the foundation of sincerity. In other words, if you're genuinely interested in other people, it'll show. I'm not really sure how to tell someone to BE more interested in people, but that's where it starts.


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Mindslave
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22 May 2014, 12:24 pm

Charisma starts with how emotionally invested a person is in other people's feelings. The less emotionally invested someone is, and the more that person cares, the more charismatic that person can be, depending on how well said person knows what he/she is doing. The most intensely charismatic people actively prey on other people's fears. But that's called superficial charm, and its another category entirely.



kaedatiger
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22 May 2014, 12:40 pm

Genuine interest and emotional investment are great for making friends, but I was looking for something maybe on a more professional level. I feel like my presence and initial presentation could use a little work, not my ability to interact with people in a more casual setting.



Kiriae
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22 May 2014, 3:14 pm

That reminds me about a talk I had with my grandma a few weeks ago. She said people with Aspergers lack of charisma so I started to argue that charisma is a skill and everyone can learn it. Then she told me, charisma is something one is born with. You either have it or not. And I am wired not to have it. How rude of her. Then I told here I have charisma no matter what she thinks because people like me somehow and they listen when I tell them what they should do. Maybe I am not popular but it's not like I don't have charisma at all. Then she told me it is just my personal opinion and charisma is something other but she couldn't describe what exactly it is. Oh well. I guess charisma is one of those things I will never understand and it isn't much like the one in The Sims game. :lol:



kaedatiger
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22 May 2014, 3:24 pm

Kiriae wrote:
I guess charisma is one of those things I will never understand and it isn't much like the one in The Sims game. :lol:


Research suggests that charisma is 1/3 inborn and 2/3 learned. I think we're capable of learning to be charming, since picking up skills is an aspie gift. Just maybe not super ridiculously high, like a cult leader might be.



Mindslave
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22 May 2014, 4:03 pm

If you are looking for professional charisma, then it depends on your profession. There is professional in the corporate sense and there is professional in the work sense. A big part of corporate culture is deferring responsibility to other people while fulfilling your minimum obligations. That's not very professional, but alas, in an office sense, it is. Actual professional charisma is where you know what you are doing, how to do it, and when to move on to the next thing, combined with knowing and caring about your co-workers. It's hard to give you anything more specific without more specifics on what you mean by professional.