Getting upset at neighbor's remarks

Post Reply New Topic

The last few days I have gone to the pool area in my complex and have run across a neighbor who I really like along with her son. Like me, her son is also on the spectrum too. I normally get along great with her most of the time. The last few days she has had her friends in the pool with her along with her son since it's the 4th. The last two days she had been abrupt and snippy.

Examples

Yesterday they were talking about getting their son to go swimming. I said I would push him in the water and she and her friends laughed.

Today they did the same so I said the same thing and this time they got an attitude with me. "No." Then they started talking about grounding me and picking my skin off my body one by one. I said "You can't do that I am an adult, I might just take you to court." I did it in a teasing manner. Then the son said "How are you going to go to court with no skin?"

They continued to tease me and I stormed out of the pool upset and I nearly left in tears by saying "You know what I have had it with the way that you are talking to me." I left and they were on offense saying "What's the matter with you. Can't you take a joke?" So I sat down as far away from them that I could and just hung out on my phone until I calmed down. "We were just kidding. We love that kid."

I just felt like every time I would talk to my neighbor my head got bit off over this or that. I know that she had been drinking some malt beverages which could be part of it but still.

Does anyone else ever get this upset with someone like that and how do you handle someone like that? I know my feelings were hurt when they talked to me like that.

When you tease someone as you did when you said you could push the son in the water, you shouldn't get upset if they take their cue on it and tease you back.

If someone started joking like that around me and then got upset and left when I returned their quips with mine, I would consider them to be rather unstable and wouldn't want to be around them in the future. The next time you walk up to them, don't be surprised if they find some excuse to leave pretty quickly.

That is the thing. I did not read the cue that they were going to joke with me because my neighbor seemed really firm at that point. In fact the no was harsh as if I said something mean.

Maybe they were drunk. If you're lucky they won't even remember or will be embarrassed and act like this never happened. People can take a joke too far when they are drinking, I find the suggestion they'd pick your skin off bizzare and frightening. And in no way does suggesting throwing her son in make it ok for them to gang up on you this way. Sadly, people don't always behave very well. That said, I don't think it's good to talk about or actually throw someone in unless it is a giggling child who wants it and knows how to swim.

See what happens. If they act like nothing went wrong, maybe go along.

I think they were tipsy. I don't think I am going to hang out with them again though. For one I think that boy's mother is a bad influence.

Sounds like you're grossly overreacting to me. To a downright comical level.

Not to say I wouldn't be annoyed too... but I certainly wouldn't express it the way you claimed to have done.

How would you have done it? Yes I did overreact and I will admit that. Before the jokes like that, she and her son were being really cliquey with their friends. She was only polite because the pool belongs to the community and she cannot officially kick me out. So she had to be polite.