How to assert yourself with clicks

Post Reply New Topic

Hi:

I am attending a congregation and although I appear to get along with most of the people there, I really do not feel like I have one friends in that place. Every time I keep meeting someone that I get along with they tend to come and go with their own lives.

There are two girls there who I want to get to know as they are always together. Why they get along so well that they are making the option to move in together as roommates.

I had tried to sit with them yesterday and they either ignored me or talking to me in a really shallow and superficial manner. They also seemed to stick together in a twosome. I am disappointed because I would like to get to know them.

I tried giving one of them my number and they said they would call but claimed that they forgot.

I want to let them know that people like myself have Asperger's syndrome and have trouble reading things but are looking to make connections but have trouble.

I hate to say it: but it seems like you're forcing the issue. I used to force the issue all the time; I ended up failing every time.

I believe in just letting these things happen naturally.

I'd rather be lonely with my pride intact, than be always seeking out forced friendships. It makes one seem needy. Human beings, by their nature, are scared of needy people.

This is at the heart of why one shouldn't force the issue.

Oh I understand, I've been in this situation. I agree, you can't force it.

I've just accepted that I am not going to get on with everyone. I used to want to have female friends and be in a little click and have friends to go for coffee with and stuff, but it's never worked out that way.

I think if people are trying to shut you out then they are probably not worth the effort. It hurts, but there are people out there who will make better friends for you than them.

What I do now is organise get-togethers for all ages, couples with children, teenagers, single people and retired couples all together. I hardly ever get invited anywhere, so I've decided that I will do the organizing. I've now got a reputation for being quiet hospitable in my congregation, which is nice. It's softened people's attitude towards me because I'm making an effort to be friendly. I'll only have a maximum of 10 people at a time, so that I'm not overwhelmed and so that people can talk comfortably.

I don't know if that's the sort of answer you were looking for because it doesn't tackle the click head on, I've decided to avoid clicks and make my own fun instead.