I'm confused - literal thinking vs double meanings.

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It is well known fact autistic people tend to take what they hear literally. Some deal with it fine - figuring out the right meaning using intelligence, some just come out as awkward, getting stuffs wrong. But how it is for NTs? Do they even get stuffs literally? How to show them we mean the literal meaning instead of the figurative?

Not long ago I had a problem and I was not sure what to say:
My boyfriend (of some kind, we can't get though "friends" stage because of me) was holding his arm around my shoulder and touching my back using his fingers. I was feeling uncomfortable with it. I was OK with the touch (in fact it felt quite nice) but his arm was feeling heavy, he was leaning too much on me.
I wanted to tell him "Your arm is heavy." but I figured out I can't because in our language the "heavy arm" is a common saying for someone who likes to hurt people close to him (family, girlfriend). I was sure he doesn't want to hurt me and he is using so much force unconsciously but I have bad experiences with telling people stuff like that. They often get angry because in their opinion I think about them whatever the figurative meaning is so I am forced to explain I mean the literal meaning but it is too late already because they are already angry.
So instead of telling anything I just moved my shoulder away so the friend had to get his arm off. But he also stopped fidgeting my back then and his face got sad. That wasn't what I wanted.

How to say things literally in a way NTs understand? Without hurting their feelings?

Just tell him that his arm feels heavy on you--or maybe lessen the "heaviness" yourself as an illustration.

If he's a nice guy, he'll get the message.

Non-verbally express it.

If it hurts, make a sound of pain and touch the area that hurts.

When they wonder what's wrong, just tell them it hurts and you need them to be gentler.

This can work in any social situation in different ways.

Non-verbally express it.

If it hurts, make a sound of pain and touch the area with your hand where it hurts.

If they wonder what is wrong, then just ask if they could be just a little more gentle.

This can work in different ways for multiple different situations...

Maybe you could say something like "I don't have a problem with what you're doing but you're putting too much weight on me with your arm."