Overly upset at NT Faux-pas?

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Does anyone else get really upset when a NT does something that is OBVIOUSLY against the current social situation? And then gets away with it?

I know it's really stupid, but I always feel insulted because I work so hard to pass, and I respond correctly in social situations, but then another person says something completely off the wall, and nobody even blinks. I know that if I were to say something random like that, I would get side-eyed, so how do they get away with it?

I think that they know how to read the mood of the situation and sometimes what we think is inappropriate behaviour is actually acceptable to the group.

Quite frankly, there are many NT's who don't give a rat's **** about being correct socially. They could have a very "individual" way of relating to the group.

They somehow get away with their faux pas because of their status within the group; perhaps one might have helped someone move; perhaps one loaned somebody money when they were broke.

In my office, there is a group who have bonded over shared lottery-number dreams or insights. The lottery is an obsession with them. A sure-fire way to make a friend is to offer a number you purportedly had in a dream.

I observed this phenomenon, and got one useful insight, and one very bad insight. On the useful side, I realized that I don't need to freak out over every little thing I do wrong. On the very bad side, I took it way too far for a while and lost several friends by expecting it not to be a big deal to anyone.

These people may seem like they have gotten away with it, but I suspect that you and I didn't notice the consequences they incurred. Just because no one around them confronted them about it doesn't mean that their status didn't suffer incrementally with each incident.

It is their status, it is whether the mistake is perceived as disrespect, . . . plus there is a large random aspect to the whole thing.

I think you also need to consider the history people have with each other. When you've been friends with someone for a long time, or have had lots of successful interactions with them in the past, you're more likely to cut them slack, even if what they do seems pretty off-the-wall. You think "oh, they're just having a bad day," or "oh, wasn't that hilarious?" You've earned the right to be weird with each other!

If you're still forming your impression of someone and they do exactly the same thing, or even something less weird, you're more likely to form a negative impression of them and then never cut them any slack at all. You think "this person is hard to deal with, not worth the effort."

I guess what I'm saying is that a lot of the time, people are not responding to the behavior per se, they're responding to the person doing it, so their track record with that person is the thing that counts.