Made a bad faux pas

Post Reply New Topic

I just moved into a new apartment after living for years with my parents with almost no social contact with others. When I came home tonight after getting ice cream, a girl (who was cute fyi) was sitting on the stairs next to my door and said "I didn't know anyone moved in next door". I thought it was a great opportunity to test/practice my social skills (which had been deteriorating for years) so I told her I just moved in and introduced myself. She said that was her boyfriend's name, I kinda nodded and smiled and then couldn't think of anything to say next, and for some reason in the moment I thought it would be a good opportunity to leave so I wouldn't say something stupid and embarrass myself, so I turned around and unlocked my door and walked in. I didn't even give her time to tell me her name, I just left.

How the hell am I supposed to recover from this? What do I tell her next time I see her? "I'm actually autistic btw, just so you know even though we just met", or "I couldn't think of anything to say before because I've been socially isolated for years", or maybe "Haha just kidding that last time, what's your name? Promise I won't awkwardly walk away in the middle of the conversation this time, LOL"? There's nothing I can think of that would adequately justify what I did without revealing overly personal information.

not so bad. next time you see her, ask her name and how she is. she didn't offer her name during the pause in conversation. as much her doing as yours. no explanation necessary.

Okay I decided to say something along the lines of "Did I walk out in the middle of the conversation last time? [wait for reply] Sorry about that, I kinda have poor social skills". Hopefully the humor will break the tension and I won't do something else stupid that ruins it all over again. I have no idea how I'll sustain a conversation with her, which she might expect considering I present my intentions as wanting to try to communicate with her again.

I wouldn't reference the situation in any way.

So maybe you stuck around too long.
It isn't such a big deal. At least you didn't just linger in silence for ages.

Besides... her choice of wording sounds an awful lot like she was trying to instantly shut you down and assign you a low position in whatever local hierarchy she ascribes herself to.

My advice : Just regard her as a neighbour .... for politely confirming the existence of in passing and basically not interacting with any more than that. A girl who instantly brings up her boyfriend out of the blue in a first conversation isn't looking to be friendly.

Never tell anybody you have "poor social skills." It's a deal-breaker. it's none of their business.

She mentioned a boyfriend--which is rather a dead giveaway. It probably wasn't too bad that you went to your apartment. If you see her next time, tell her you had to make an important phone call, so you had to rush.