My parents criticize me about my social skills

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My parents don't understand me at all (I know that sounds like a typical teenager complaint).

I am slightly introverted and I don't like to have so many social occasions with people back to back. Once I see a friend, I need a few days alone before I see them or anyone else again. I don't think its a bad thing at all.

But I explained this to my mom, she started hassling and criticizing me that if I'm not seeing friends every day or texting or talking on the phone for hours, they might think that I don't want to be friends with them. I have this one friend in particular who I really like and I want to be good friends with her, but we don't text every single day. Every other day at the most.

But my parents are always complaining that I'm not a good enough friend to her because I don't text or talk on the phone for hours with her and I'm so sick of it. Just the other day, she was also criticizing me about my guy friend, and that I was "mean" to him. Now I feel like a b**ch!!

let it go in one ear and out the other. i'm sure they're well-meaning, but that doesn't mean you have to buy into everything they say.

I'm sorry your parents are like that. I had similar issues with my mom. She was super popular and such a social butterfly in high school. She wanted me to be just like her. My brothers were/are pretty extroverted too. They had friends over almost every day or were hanging out with their friends elsewhere and I'd just come right home to read, watch TV, or play on the computer. My mom would frequently tell me I needed more friends, needed to do more stuff outside of school, etc... And she said I was unapproachable because of how I dressed and that I should act more normal so I'd make more friends and be popular. I told her I was happy with the friends I had but she thought those friends were weird, and I wasn't supposed to be weird.

You just have to learn to ignore your parents sometimes and do your own thing. If you're happy then keep on doing what you're doing. There's nothing wrong with being introverted.

If you have a psychologist perhaps you can ask him/her to explain the socializing difficulties and mental burn-out it gives you. If you do not, you could try to explain it to them yourself as calmly and simply as possible.

They're doing that because they think you don't understand 'how things work' (a typical adult posture towards the young) ...but at the same time, they aren't understanding how you function. Its alright if you tried and your mom didn't get it... you can find articles online describing this better than you could and show it to her.

Hey.

You know the cliche, quality over quantity? I think that applies in this situation. Just tell your parents that you don't have to see your friends/talk to them every single day in order to have great and meaningful friendships. Spending quality time is more important because it allows you to get to know the other person on a more personal level, and hopefully, develop lasting friendships.

You don't owe anyone a close relationship. If you don't want a closer relationship with someone, then that is your choice, and your choice alone. However, if a person wishes to not be friends with you because they feel you do not put as much into the relationship as they do, that their choice.

If I could be 15 again, I think I would make more of an effort to socialize, because after high school and college, your opportunities to form friendships drop off significantly.

You sound like you are a good friend. You do keep in touch with your friends. It's not like you are only speaking to them one a month, which is what I sometimes do with mine. Even though I don't see my friends all that often when we do meet up we just start talking away to each other like we were never apart.

When I was 15 I saw my friends everyday at school and we didn't have mobile phones or facebook only a landline, but we didn't feel the need to phone each other after we'd already seen each other that day. We lived in a rural area to so going to school was just the easiest way for us to meet up as well. It worked and I still keep in touch with a couple of them to this day.

Everyone is different and as long as you and your friends are happy with the way you communicate with each other then that is a good friendship.

Oh and sometimes friends arer ude to each other. We all have bad days, no one is perfect. Just make sure your friend is ok and apologise if you did hurt him and then just move on. A good friend will understand that no one is perfect, so don't stress about it.

I can't explain it to them myself, I've tried that already. A typical conversation usually goes like this:

Her: You can't sit around and watch Netflix and Youtube all day, why don't you make plans with (insert friends name here)?

Me: I just saw her the day before, I just need a few days to myself to recharge, cuz I'm a bit exhausted.

Her: Well if you enjoy her company, then it shouldn't be exhausting for you to see her a few times a week.

Me: I do enjoy talking to her, I just don't want to be seeing friends every single day.

Her: Well, maybe you should start texting her and opening up to her more, you should be more of a friend to her.

Me: But I am being a friend to her, I enjoy her company, I listen to her if she wants to open up to me, I'll be there for her if she needs me etc etc....

Her: I mean that you should start making plans with her, instead of letting her do all the work.

Me: I'm doing my best, you know I'm a bit shy and not always the first to initiate contact with friends.

Her: Well maybe you just need to try harder. Its obvious she like you and enjoys your company, so theres no need to be shy and nervous about it.

Me: I know that, its just that.......no actually nvm, you don't understand!! !!

I find it easy to occupy myself with a book, iPod, sketch book and art supplies etc when I don't feel like doing anything. But they just don't understand, which is weird cuz I was diagnosed with HFA early, at the age of 3, so I usually assume they would be more understanding of my issues related to Autism.

A new idea would be to say that you don't just need to "recharge", but also add in that your friend it perfectly fine also with how things are now.

Just tell your mom that. That your friend's okay with talking a few days at a time and hanging out on the weekend.

And if both people in the friendship are happy, then that means she should have no reason to put any unnecessary input in.

She might just also want you to get out of the house more instead of being on the internet at home all day.

This might be a lot harder to convince her then if this is true.

You might not like getting out much but one idea I have is to just go for walks.

I do it all the time. Just take a break every couple hours and go for a 15-30 minute walk around the neighborhood.

If you live in a quiet, suburban area than this is actually pretty nice. You can even watch videos on your phone with earphones if you have one. Remember to stay safe!

Good luck with talking to your mum, things can be hard for more extroverted parents with more introverted kids, I know the feeling!

One of the main differences between extroverts and introverts is that extroverts get their energy from other people, and while introverts still have a need for friendship and company, they find that socialising takes up energy, and the need more time to digest things mentally, think through things or go from one topic or activity to another.

If you can recognise the problem being that your extrovert parents don't understand you as an introvert, then your half way towards solving it in my view. Just tell them that as an introvert, you need more time to yourself to process stuff going on in your life, more time to think (or even collect your thoughts by talking to yourself) and that you and your friend are quite happy just seeing each other once every few days, in moderation.

That's perfectly normal. I don't see any of my friends every day, some I'll probably see several times a week, others it's more like once every few weeks.