Requiring "recharging" time after socializing?
It seems like whenever I start socializing, talking to people, hanging out with people, etc., I end up burning all my energy, and need quite some time to recharge.
Say for example I start socializing today, and I keep it up for 15 days. Then, after 15 days, when I've burned through all of my energy, I need like 2 months or so to regain my willingness and ability to socialize. After the 15 days, I completely stop socializing. I'll start ignoring people, I'll stop initiating contact, basically cut my self from any social contact.
This happens to me whenever I try to socialize. I'll start getting good at it, I'll start thinking that all my Aspie related socialization problems are beginning to go away, and then, BAM. And the longer I am able to keep up socializing, the longer time I need to recharge. Does this happen to anyone else? Its like meeting people just sucks all the energy out of me, like people are parasites. And then I lose my ability to focus on my special interest, even. I start procrastinating and wasting time. What should I do?
BirdInFlight
Veteran
![User avatar](./download/file.php?avatar=87653.jpg)
Joined: 8 Jun 2013
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,501
Location: If not here, then where?
I'll first state I am not yet diagnosed but one of the many, many reasons why I'm on that path is precisely because this is, yes, something that happens to me too. Even down to the last detail of things suffering: procrastination and wasting time as a later result of the burnout I feel from the socializing.
I've always had this. I used to push myself to be more social because I just thought I had to or ought to. But it always cost me a price mentally and emotionally. It takes a toll on me, even when the socializing has been enjoyable and I didn't hate it at the time. But afterward I need A LOT of recharging. It's exactly like my battery had been run down to zero energy left, mental energy and physically energy.
If I do too much before a full recharge has taken place, the burnout gets accumulatively worse. I currently am in a situation where there is place I go that used to be peaceful for me, but now people are forcing their company on me there and I don't know how to even go about asserting my needs and asking to be left alone. It's causing me accumulating stress so severe that my functioning in all other areas of life is suffering quite drastically. Because I now can't seem to make myself get anything else done -- that knock-on effect you mention of procrastinating and time-wasting. It's as if I just want to numb myself with nothing-activities -- I go online more and just stay there even when there's nothing doing, I play video games instead of wash my dishes or tidy my place up. All my executive functioning is probably the worst it's ever been right now.
It's all due to the forced socializing situation I've had an extraordinary overload of and it's become a problem more so than even prior.
Sorry for the venting session; this has been on my mind a lot because i'm having an especially hard time with it lately in my own life.
To answer your question, from what I gather there are many people on the spectrum who experience this draining effect from socializing. Not everyone but some do share this yes.
.
I've always had this. I used to push myself to be more social because I just thought I had to or ought to. But it always cost me a price mentally and emotionally. It takes a toll on me, even when the socializing has been enjoyable and I didn't hate it at the time. But afterward I need A LOT of recharging. It's exactly like my battery had been run down to zero energy left, mental energy and physically energy.
If I do too much before a full recharge has taken place, the burnout gets accumulatively worse. I currently am in a situation where there is place I go that used to be peaceful for me, but now people are forcing their company on me there and I don't know how to even go about asserting my needs and asking to be left alone. It's causing me accumulating stress so severe that my functioning in all other areas of life is suffering quite drastically. Because I now can't seem to make myself get anything else done -- that knock-on effect you mention of procrastinating and time-wasting. It's as if I just want to numb myself with nothing-activities -- I go online more and just stay there even when there's nothing doing, I play video games instead of wash my dishes or tidy my place up. All my executive functioning is probably the worst it's ever been right now.
It's all due to the forced socializing situation I've had an extraordinary overload of and it's become a problem more so than even prior.
Sorry for the venting session; this has been on my mind a lot because i'm having an especially hard time with it lately in my own life.
To answer your question, from what I gather there are many people on the spectrum who experience this draining effect from socializing. Not everyone but some do share this yes.
.
I couldn't have explained it better myself if I had to. This is exactly what happens to me, down to the last detail. Just a while ago, I felt the need to be more social, to make friends, and to "enjoy(?)" life more(because parents said so). At first, it was enjoyable, because I was in control, I could decide when I wanted to go out, when I wanted to talk, etc. Then, I got introduced to this new group of friends who just wouldn't let me be alone. Oh hey, lets hang out from dusk till dawn, EVERY.EFFING.DAY. I couldn't get rid of them no matter how hard I tried. Every day I would wake up hoping I could quietly do my own stuff, and then they'd force their company onto me. I wasn't getting any time to recharge my batteries. After I somehow finally got rid of them, now I just find myself completely drained. Now all I can do all day is play video games or watch YT videos. My brain just doesn't seem to work when I try to do anything remotely productive. Like you said, not socializing is a problem, yes, but socializing is an even bigger problem. Now I've realized this. I can take socialization when its moderated by me, but when its forced onto me by people, I just can't handle it.
Thanks for sharing this, I'm glad I'm not the only one who faces this problem. Its kind of relieving to know that someone else has this exact same problem as I do.
Have you been able to figure out a way to deal with this, or maybe even just dampen the blow? Its like I just can't do anything but waste my time, which is a huge problem for me since I have loads of work that I need to get done.
BirdInFlight
Veteran
![User avatar](./download/file.php?avatar=87653.jpg)
Joined: 8 Jun 2013
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,501
Location: If not here, then where?
I feel such relief finding someone else with the same problem, too! Reading your reply sounds just like my situation and my reactions. I'm sad to say I haven't managed to figure out a way to soften the negative effects; the best I can ever do is just stay really, really solitary for as long as it takes to normalize again. The way I know I'm recovering is when I start being able to do things again -- just stupid stuff like I actually washed some dishes again, or some other practical thing that got pushed aside when I was feeling what I call my "zombie state" of burnout nd recovery.
I think what you mention about it being your own decision whether or not to socialize is really important! I think it does make a massive difference whether you yourself decided to have the social interaction, and how long it goes on, and how much of it, etc. or if it was kind of pushed upon you and you didn't manage to get out of it. It's like that for me -- if I choose the socializing and it's on my own terms, the bad effects later are not so bad, maybe.
But, like you with this group of friends, and like me with these acquaintances at the moment, if the social stuff is kind of sprung on you and you didn't want it, invite or feel prepared for it, I think that's the time when it has the worst after-effects on me, definitely.
And I gather that another spectrum difficulty in some people can often be that they don't react fast enough to come up with an appropriate reaction that gets them out of a situation -- again I'm not yet diagnosed but I experience that big-time.
I don't know how to think fast on the spot and find the words to politely end things -- I don't even manage to physically move away! It's a huge problem I'm trying to work on. It's like I'm the proverbial "deer caught in headlights" -- I freeze in shock rather than respond with what I need to do.
I think the best way to strive for is, whenever it's humanly possible, choose your socializing and try to have control over as much as you can, such as who it's with, when it happens, where it happens (environment can be exhausting too!) and how long it all goes on for.
I definitely think that whenever something is not fully on a person's own terms, that it sets off worse consequences stress-wise. I don't know if that helps much, as of course I'm not doing too well with this problem myself, hahaha!
But it's so good to know I'm not the only one with this stuff happening to me.
I definitely need 'recharge' time too. From what I've heard/read, it seems that the same can be true for introverts, as well as those who have ASD or another condition known to cause difficulties with social situations.
_________________
Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly...
BirdInFlight
Veteran
![User avatar](./download/file.php?avatar=87653.jpg)
Joined: 8 Jun 2013
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,501
Location: If not here, then where?
i was interrogated for over 4 hours on Tuesday regarding some, stuff. i wasn't expecting it, i was pulled out of class.
i sat in a super hot stuffy room, being stared at, being asked the same questions over and over and over, i couldn't give a clear answer to most and they threatened to take action regardless of what i said if i didn't speak up. police officer, dad, counselors and case manager were there.
needless to say i didn't want to see anyone the the entire rest of the day.
but i guess i had it coming.
_________________
הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.
^Oh wow Kip, that sounds horrible.
Last edited by Booyakasha on 19 Sep 2014, 9:18 am, edited 1 time in total.
I just have an introverted personality and as much as I do enjoy time with my friends I also like to be alone. If I don't get some time to be on my own to read, listen to music, get on the internet or whatever I find I get annoyed more easily by little things and snap at people. :/
_________________
"I prefer to distinguish ADD as attention abundance disorder. Everything is just so interesting . . . remarkably at the same time.?
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Socializing - What works and doesn't |
Yesterday, 6:35 pm |
It's that time again |
09 Mar 2024, 5:15 pm |
Would I get jail time for this? |
01 Feb 2024, 1:58 pm |
Pizza time |
06 Feb 2024, 1:26 pm |