laughing when I hear or see something others think is sad

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cindy2500
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06 Oct 2014, 11:49 am

Any advice for a 16-year-old male with autism who is receiving negative feedback from his high school peers for laughing when he hears about or observes a situation that most people would perceive as sad or upsetting? Example, he laughed during a driver's ed movie about fatal accidents and drunk driving. I suspect it is because the topic is overstimulating and emotionally overwhelming, hence the laughter. We are working with a social story, but wondered if anyone here has any good advice for him.
Thanks



mr_bigmouth_502
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06 Oct 2014, 5:59 pm

I can relate, because I have a really dark sense of humor, which I inherited from my dad whom I suspect is also an aspie. I'm bad for laughing at tragedies and making jokes about them, and so is he. It got me in a good bit of trouble growing up. It's hard to suppress, sometimes I'll hear about something horrible or outlandish and if I'm in front of other people, I'll have to hold back my laughter. When I'm not around other people, then I'll let it out.

Nowadays, I'm finding that I'm laughing less often at these things, and instead I'll feel horrified or depressed. I guess it's just something that comes with maturity, and in that aspect I may be maturing beyond my own father.

As far as advice goes, I really don't know what to offer. I know it's a socially-inappropriate behavior, and it's something I've had to sort of grow out of. I haven't gotten past it, but I just know that I need to suppress it around others.



KimD
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10 Oct 2014, 10:38 am

I've noticed that laughter can be a response to (as you said, cindy ) over- stimulation, but even in NTs, it can also be a reaction to the unexpected, if it's happening to someone else. Obviously, I don't know your son from Adam, but I do know some young-ish adult "Aspies" who have similar challenges.

One who happens to be more severely affected than the others is working very deliberately to tone down his inappropriate behaviors (like blurting things out in church/fellowship gatherings) and has enlisted his other adult friends to cue him when he needs to relax or quiet down. He has told us about the counseling he's getting; his earnest efforts and deep gratitude for our help has gone a long way to smooth out his relationships and make people feel more comfortable around him.

I don't know how teenagers might be able to help, but perhaps a couple of closer, trusted, or mature friends/peers might be open to try. Hopefully, his teachers understand!

mr_bigmouth, kudos to you for your work!



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10 Oct 2014, 12:20 pm

cindy2500 wrote:
Any advice for a 16-year-old male with autism who is receiving negative feedback from his high school peers for laughing when he hears about or observes a situation that most people would perceive as sad or upsetting? Example, he laughed during a driver's ed movie about fatal accidents and drunk driving. I suspect it is because the topic is overstimulating and emotionally overwhelming, hence the laughter. We are working with a social story, but wondered if anyone here has any good advice for him.
Thanks


No advice, those old driver's ed movies ARE hilarious.



Kiriae
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10 Oct 2014, 1:43 pm

Check out youtube for "funny accidents" then ask us again.
If we find something hilarious we will laugh. It's simple like that. And accidents honestly can look hilarious unless you are aware that people got hurt/killed in them. We might lack the knowledge while watching a movie or even a scene like that in real life.

Recently I got scolded by my friends because we happen to see a little girl that was doing weird things with her hands and dropped ice cream as the result. I laughed.
- Why are you laughing?! - friends asked me.
- It was hilarious. - I said.
- Well, not for her.
Then I looked at the girl, realized she is crying and started to feel guilty for my reaction.
In the first moment it was nothing but a funny scene for me. They had to point her emotional state before I realized my laugh was improper.



Kiprobalhato
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11 Oct 2014, 2:11 am

i do this too, like once my art teacher was talking about possible complications from her pregnancy, and i just couldn't keep it in.
fortunately the baby turned out to be fine.

possibly nothing but childish ignorance but also embarrassing: when i was around 7 my dad was calling a family member on the landline. i picked up and started spouting nonsense and dumb stuff into the phone.

it turns out that the call my dad got, was about my great grandmothers passing.
she was the only great grandparent i ever met, i saw her only once. i was five. she was my paternal grandfathers mother. she lived to be i think 96.


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BigSnoopy126
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13 Oct 2014, 8:54 pm

I think the best advice from my perspective is the person should pause and consider the situation. We tend to think that because communication goes so fast we need to react to something right away, but a split second pause can be good.

I agree it's overstimulation at times but also it's the way of looking at something. I remember when President Reagan was shot, I was 11.5 and in 6th grade. As I watched the new about it after school, I found myself smiling for an instant because I was thinking, "This is amazing, I'm witnessing history." (The fact I read almanacs for fun and history was and still is an obsession added to that.) Then I caught myself and thought, "Wait, this isn't a good response, because someone's hurt." So I stopped. (Nobody saw me doing it but it was something i remember very vividly.)

That may have tipped me the other way, in some ways, to the point where every time I heard someone crying I thought they were really hurt, but eventually I learned to try to deduce by context.



Skurvey
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13 Oct 2014, 10:44 pm

I get caught with this sometimes - I laugh more as a release for nervous energy and often it is absolutely inappropriate.


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gaz34
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14 Oct 2014, 7:01 pm

Skurvey wrote:
I get caught with this sometimes - I laugh more as a release for nervous energy and often it is absolutely inappropriate.


This happens to me quite a lot but its usually when I make joke about myself but maybe it could possibly be interpreted as being about the person I'm talking to, or it comes across that way, which often leads to an uncomfortable silence. I don't know.



thewrite1
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17 Oct 2014, 10:32 pm

When I was younger, I'd make awkward smiles whenever nervous or scared, especially when I was being scolded. As a result, the person would scream, "Do you think this is funny?!" and I would tell them no, but they never believed me. Similarly, according to my friends, I used to make frightening/disturbing expressions when doing mundane things like sharpening my pencil or washing my hands. Apparently, people with AS tend to make inappropriate expressions.


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