Does your social ability differ greatly per period?

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Do you have this too?

Situations:
1. There's a day when you're more out-going and social than usual. You come across as pretty normal/superficially pretty normal/nothing much out of the ordinary/even NT or spontaneous if you do well.

2. Then there's long periods of time where you:
a) find yourself avoiding people in general
b) are glad to be alone again
c) somehow are unable/too tired to be like in situation 1. You just... can't. Somehow you're tired, mentally drained or simply not interested. You just can't manage.
d) with regards to c: your social antenna somehow lacks more than in situation 1. You perceive intentions and social games etc less clearly and you respond less properly.
e) Maintaining loose contacts and friendships becomes significantly more difficult.

In situation 2 you're more socially awkward and function socially worse than your maximum (situation 1) potential.

It's really weird for me. I don't know if this is energy/tiredom related, but I often find myself in situation 2 where I function in a for me personally sub-optimal manner in a social sense and know I *can* do better, but at the same time notice that in fact, I *can't*. It's like I lost my situation 1 ability, yet it really is or was there at certain times, sometimes rather long, sometimes a shorter period or just 1 day in the week.

What I also have for instance is that I can be sit. 1 during a short period of time after which I simply ''burn out''.

Can anyone relate and if so, how do you cope?

That sounds quite familiar, yes. With regard to functioning socially, and also pretty much all other kinds of functioning. Sometimes I can almost function as well as a "normal" person, but on bad days the simplest things can be a huge challenge. On really bad days I can sometimes barely make coordinated movements or speak properly.

I wish I could provide a silver bullet for this, but I can't really. I've painstakingly arranged my life over the years so that the impact of the bad days is minimised to an acceptable level. Even so it happens far too often that I function too poorly to even make it out of my apartment and end up taking a sick day. I've picked up friends who don't mind that contact with me can be sporadic and who don't expect too much of me when I'm having a bad day. I've found these friends partly by sheer luck and partly by looking in places tolerant to eccentricity.

I've slowly been learning to forgive myself and not beat myself up for being "lazy", to back off and not simply "redlining" when I actually need a break. Unfortunately I've learned a lot of this the hard way, by repeatedly burning out.

I don't think there is an easy solution, and arranging one's life to cope probably works differently for everyone.

i am always the same way. i am never interested in anything "social" (presuming i know the accurate definition of the word "social"). people are just things in my world that i interact with when i have to, but i have no interest in what goes on inside their heads.

it may seem that i am more "affable" (a quasi form of sociability) when i am required to divulge my services in a situation where i am uniquely qualified (like at work) due to the fact that i have to tell people what is going on in a clear and engaging way.
whilst i am involved in a situation where i need to instruct people (in various formats) how to engage in a situation that is necessary for the achievement of their peculiar goals (that pertain to my specialty), i am quite close and personal, and accommodating in my reciprocal intentions to communicate with people.


i never join the fray of other peoples communication lines. sometimes however, some people join the train of mentality that i am in, and then i can see the world in concert with them. i am insufficiently interested in those situations to ever follow them up though. i am happy to see the world alone.



i do not have to avoid people because i own my house and no one is invited here. i do not depend on anyone else so i do not have to see anyone else. when i go to the shops, i pick what i want and i pay and i go home and none of them are any the wiser that i have a deeper reality to me than what they see.
it is a curious fact, but whatever.

............

Last edited by b9 on 24 Sep 2014, 12:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

This sounds all too familiar... some days I act perfectly normal, and like you said, could pass for an NT. Then there are days (at a time) where socializing is a struggle. I feel mentally and emotionally drained, and I don't act "right", I become increasingly argumentative and irritable - and if I don't take care of myself during this period, I fall apart.