I think my friend don't want to be my friend

Post Reply New Topic

So I wrote about this earlier but just to update I have a friend that doesn't talk or smile to me anymore and I don't know why! She's nice to everyone else! I asked her today if she was mad at me and she said no but she didn't look at me and she squinted her eyes and having been friends for ten years I don't really think she means it

So please what's wrong here and what should I do??

What I wouldn't do: keep on asking her if she was mad at me. People feel put off when asked that.

Instead, if you are in the same class, perhaps you could ask her about the homework for the day--that you forgot to copy it. This might turn into further discussion. Or if there's something interesting about the football team. Or if there's something like a new club which popped up in school. Or anything which you know would be of interest to you botgh.

In a word, don't ask her if she's mad at you. It's best if you discuss seeming triviaiities which are relevant to you both.

Truly, people don't like to be "put on the spot." Perhaps your friend felt like she was being "put on the spot." I, for one, hate it when people ask me if they're mad at them.

I have to ask.

People that you see do the attitude switch annoys me. They put themselves on the spot and they know it. We as aspies probably said or did something that made them or makes them upset.

They do not want to talk about it for one, it makes them look like a jerk or two, there is a problem and they do not want to talk about it.

I said to one girl, "Hey if you are not mad at me, please stop treating me like I am guilty." She stated that she needs space. Now that could have been said way before me asking the other times, what is wrong and her saying nothing, or its nothing you can fix. I gave her space for a few days, but entire weeks of this attitude and its not my fault and not explaining anything. Some thing is wrong and you or me have to ask.

So, here is what you do.

Goto your friend , say "I feel something might be wrong and I am going to stop pestering you about it. Let's do __________ and just have some fun." If she says yes...go out and have fun...DO NOT ASK WHAT IS WORNG!! if no, say " Okay, some other time, talk to you later" Do not imply that its "The problem" that made her say no. If she says no, GIVE HER SPACE, leave her alone and let her come to you!

What Kraftie wrote will work also.

I'm sure that's something that's different for NTs, so yeah if they need a lot of space something is probably up.
But it can be very different if your friend is aspie.
I often need space, lasting for weeks. I need a lot of alone time and don't crave very frequent interaction. There's nothing wrong, it's just a matter of me being me and needing and wanting to be on my own and do my own stuff.

You probably did something to irritate her. Just give her time to get over it. Sometimes friends go through periods of distance only to be close again later. In the meantime occupy yourself with other things.

It sounds like she is losing her interest in you for whatever reason is going on in her head. Some people can turn it off.

What you might should do is invite her to meet her somewhere and ask to hear her out. You might also wish to ask if she is interested in you as a friend anymore. Either way pay attention to the interactions.

You might also ask yourself if she was ever your friend in the first place by taking time to think about the actions on her part.

1. Did she ever look happy to see you?
2. Were things one-sided?
3. Did she ever bring you up?
4. Was it all about her or did she take any interest in your life?
5. Was she there when times were rough?

I don't care for flip switch people like that. It means they have problems of their own.

I'm not sure but I think it's better now! It's been two or three weeks since we spoke if you look away from that one time I asked if she was mad at me. Today I decided I'd go and sit next to the girls I used to hang out with and she spoke to me and laughed at my jokes so hopefully we're friends again! Thanks for your advices (:

You are very welcome