An uneasy feeling has just crept up on me

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I think there was just one time in my life when he person I considered my ?best friend? reciprocated that feeling. The last person I considered my BF, my ex-girlfriend, I'm fairly certain didn't feel that way. It's not a nice feeling.

Now I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever be in a friendship again where the feeling for each other are at the same level. That thought has been disturbing me, lately.

In my opinion, friendships where the affection level are exactly the same for both persons are not as common as we think, even for NTs.
Despite the fact that NTs usually have relationships with a lot of persons at the same time, from what i can understand, only a few (or sometimes even none) of them can be considered true friendship.
I think we autistics have less of that "middle ground" and or we see people as true friends or we see just another person that we are not connected in any way. At least i see things this way, and for me that's one of the reasons we can feel lonely when we don't have that person who is absolutely close (or what we would call friend).
I'm sorry that you are feeling this way, but there are chances that eventually you will find another person that you can call friend again and feel that the other person feel the same way.

Those were valuable insights, Andrejake. My pattern for me most of my life is to have one-- maybe two -- people at time whom I can call a close friend. But they never last. That does seem to be a pattern for people on the spectrum. I've gone through very lengthy periods where I've had nothing but casual acquaintances in my life.

Yeah, there's not a lot of "middle ground" when it comes to friendship for me. I'm either "'all in," or I keep people at arms length.

Yes, i'm a lot like that too.
And you can be sure that a lot of people from the spectrum suffer from this difficulty of making friendships last for too much and that's one of the hardest part about my life too. For this reason i think i don't have any good advice to help you with.
The only thing that i do when this happens is try my best to distract my mind with one of my interests and try to do not think about it for almost 24 per day hours while i keep going on with life. It usually gets better as time passes.