Page 1 of 1 [ 10 posts ] 

Mitrovah
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2013
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 343
Location: Iowa USA

08 Jul 2014, 8:51 pm

Everyone around me is moving away, I have considered moving to a bigger city as well: Denver,Chicago, Pittsburgh or Seattle.

The reasoning being I hardly fit in my own home state, a larger city would have more avenues to my liking and therefore I have a much better chance of meeting people like me. I believe, however, not to sound overly pretentious, I have a genuine bro book worm complex; I like sports, exercising video games and crude jokes but I always want to talk about history, art, philosophy and music. I am not one for gossip or talking about whatever it is NT's talk about besides the serious subjects. I am socialized enough to actually have the motivation to go out and talk with people and carry a conversation. Therefore I have huge trouble fitting in with one group or the other.

Would moving to a larger city actually be a good idea. The only thing that is holding me back is I don't want to be broke, not rich but at least be able to live as I do now Which I believe would be far more difficult in a expensive city. I don't want a sh***y stressful job either like at Mcdonalds or something at the bottom , something semi professional like what I do now which is accounting and tech support. Two coworkers are being promoted to salesman and moving to Denver. I wish I was born in a bigger city, I would already be attuned to the environment and wouldn't have to live through the stress of adjusting to a new place, compounded by the fact I am ASD

Any advice, experience



IrisIndigo
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 27 Apr 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 19

08 Jul 2014, 9:21 pm

Do you like cities?
Have you been to one before?
It's really about your personal preferences.
You could go ahead and look online at the prices of rent in the area and possible jobs to get an idea of what it would be like financially.
Maybe if you could visit with a friend for a week or two.

I've been in a more urban area than I am used to for a year.
I hated having to learn how to drive all over again.
Have you ever heard of a 6 way intersection?
I hadn't until I got stuck at one at a red light with no one in front of me to follow.
There is always noise, you can't get away from it. Like a constant humming.
Where I grew up, I had places where no matter how far I looked in one direction I'd see only landscape and wildlife.
It was my escape. Loosing that has been so emotionally and mentally stressful that I'm counting down the days until I get to move back.



cathylynn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Aug 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,045
Location: northeast US

08 Jul 2014, 9:46 pm

pittsburgh has a low cost of living compared to most big cities. i spent the best four years of my life there. largest employer is the university. large art museum used to be free on saturdays. warhol museum. world class symphony. broadway shows stop there. art festival by the river every summer.



schleppenheimer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Aug 2006
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,584

09 Jul 2014, 6:38 am

I second the Pittsburgh idea. It sounds like possibly the perfect place for you.

Sports is very big here -- as my kids were growing up, they would announce the Steeler's upcoming games and final scores in the ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! It was hilarious! Everybody gets into it, and being into it provides an easy route to socialization. Also, people are just nice here. It's family-oriented, kind of old-fashioned, but there's lots of new building and projects going on. Tech is big in this area -- lots of computer companies. The arts are big here as well -- as cathylynn has already said, we have a world class symphony, lots of broadway shows, lots of art galleries, etc. Top current bands regularly make a stop in Pittsburgh when touring as well.

The cost of living here is very low. We are preparing for a move to Washington DC, and the shift from Pittsburgh to DC in housing is a killer ? much like it would have been if we'd moved from Pittsburgh to San Francisco (where I'm originally from). You just get a lot for your money, housing-wise, in the Pittsburgh area. And it is GORGEOUS here -- beautiful green trees everywhere you go, lots of hills and valleys, etc.

I highly recommend this area. My son and I just went kayaking on the Allegheny River right in the middle of Pittsburgh, and it was wonderful. There's plenty to do in the way of outdoor activities as well!



Mitrovah
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2013
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 343
Location: Iowa USA

13 Nov 2014, 6:41 pm

I want to revive this topic, I appreciate the answers but I was thinking about talking more about socializing in a bigger city/ Everyone I talk to says: "when I save about $4,000, I will move. I want to move because I just don't fit in Iowa City. It is soo much like high school where it is all just cliques: Suburban Fraternity Bros, University bohemian Hipsters, Unwashed alcohol and drug music concert hippies and punk rockers and even the degree of difference seems slight; the common denominator of course is Caucasian. There is something about each group I like and don't like so I can't wholeheartedly assimilate and I don't fit in anywhere, and to top all off the city is so small there is hardly anything going on beside the very rare movie and or concert that I would go to; no museums, no ethnically diverse neighborhoods or anything that draws my attention. I want to make new friends because I am sooo boreddoing things by myself.



Pitabread123
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 96
Location: Minnesota, USA

15 Nov 2014, 3:32 am

Mitrovah wrote:
I want to move because I just don't fit in Iowa City. It is soo much like high school where it is all just cliques


Yeah I've noticed too that cliques exist past high school and college also. I suppose it's just kind of human nature to separate ourselves into arbitrary groups that don't have much interation. Anyways, by moving to a larger city, you'll find that it's even more "cliquish", and in the real world they call this racism, segregation and all sorts of nasty stuff. The bright side is that cities are more diverse, so you'll have an easier time finding a group that you'll mesh with quite easily.



arielhawksquill
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jun 2008
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,830
Location: Midwest

15 Nov 2014, 2:14 pm

I love living in the city and I think it's a great place for people on the spectrum, but I'm not sure it is any easier to make friends here. People are people wherever you go, and city dwellers tend to leave each other strictly alone unless they know each other.

Maybe the OP should take a vacation to the city where they want to live, to try it out and see. Those museums and ethnic neighborhoods are great fun, but if you can't bring yourself to speak to anybody there it will be just as lonely as home.



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,477
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

15 Nov 2014, 2:59 pm

I live near Denver, does not feel to cliquish....sure there are different catagories of people I guess like social groups/sub cultures and such, but doesn't mean everyone sticks to specific ones and is all elitist about it, some people are like that. But certainly does not feel like in highschool which was very cliquish. For instance there are plenty of stoners, and most don't care about if other people smoke or not...they don't look down on people who aren't a part of that. But not so sure how it is as far as prices here compared to other places.


_________________
We won't go back.


Mitrovah
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2013
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 343
Location: Iowa USA

16 Nov 2014, 5:22 pm

Pitabread123 wrote:
Mitrovah wrote:
I want to move because I just don't fit in Iowa City. It is soo much like high school where it is all just cliques

The bright side is that cities are more diverse, so you'll have an easier time finding a group that you'll mesh with quite easily.


Exactly, Iowa city is very limited in the scope because lack of opportunities to do different things and it's size. It is really hard to make friends because I don't fit in one particular category. I also realized that I should just maybe try make more friends that are on the AS side of the spectrum instead of trying to be "in" with the so-called NT's all the time. I prefer AS because like me they are different but not dangerous and crazy or mean and stuck up like some of the people I have encountered.



nldedout
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 20

19 Nov 2014, 8:57 pm

I live in the city and find it benefits me socially. A lot more quirky people live in cities, and with all the people packed together, oddness is much less likely to be noticed. That said, I'm still pretty socially isolated and only have a few friends (none of who I see frequently). It's not all perfect, but I do find city life easier. I was socially isolated in smaller communities as well with additional drawbacks cities don't have.