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corroonb
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07 Jan 2015, 7:06 am

How do you deal with awkward silences? I constantly find myself saying stupid, silly, irrelevant, personal and incoherent things because I feel the need to fill any gaps in conversation. I often have simply nothing to say but I think that sometimes saying nothing is seen as rude. My social skills aren't great but I do make an effort to talk to people.



Amity
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07 Jan 2015, 7:24 am

Try to become comfortable with silences, no need to fill them. I like this quote from Dennis Thatcher, on the perils of speaking in public: "Better keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it and remove all doubt."



kraftiekortie
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07 Jan 2015, 8:06 am

Yep...sometimes silence is, indeed, more eloquent than forced eloquence.



Feyokien
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07 Jan 2015, 9:42 am

It's only awkward if you make it awkward, I believe the phrase goes

I'm guilty of spewing out filler sometimes, but I'm becoming more accustomed to the silence, neurotypicals in my life can just learn to live with it, it's harder for me to make conversation than it would be for them to just accept the silence.



Fnord
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07 Jan 2015, 9:47 am

Words, like violence,
Break the silence.
Come crashing in,
Into my little world.

Painful to me,
Rips right through me.
Oh, don't you understand?
Oh, my little girl ...

-- "Enjoy the Silence", DePeche Mode, 1989



corroonb
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07 Jan 2015, 6:28 pm

I understand that sometimes it's better to say nothing than say something foolish but I just feel like sometimes saying something is better than an awful silence. How do I feel less uncomfortable saying nothing around other people?



Amity
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09 Jan 2015, 4:17 pm

Maybe practice (family) treating awkward silences like a game based on will power, with every moment that passes making you closer to winning, somewhat similar to brinkmanship or the 'games' nervous or chicken.



TheAP
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09 Jan 2015, 4:30 pm

I have this problem too. I feel like I should say something, but I often can't think of anything to say. So I just look down, as it feels too awkward looking at the person if I'm not talking to them.



SadButRad
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09 Jan 2015, 4:55 pm

here's a quick trick. say something boring but open-ended, leaving the other person the responsibility to make a witty response.