Page 1 of 1 [ 10 posts ] 

DanicaBananica
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2014
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 32
Location: Canada

04 Jan 2015, 7:14 pm

Feel the need to lie about things or join in on a conversation you know little or nothing about, just to fit in - to be socially accepted?

Do you consciously try to stop yourself from doing this?


_________________
When we recognize that our external reality is merely a reflection of our internal, we can begin to correct how we think, feel and act within it - until we heal our mind, things can not get better.

http://www.oneworldhealing.net


Echolalia
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 30 Dec 2014
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 184

04 Jan 2015, 7:51 pm

DanicaBananica wrote:
Feel the need to lie about things or join in on a conversation you know little or nothing about, just to fit in - to be socially accepted?

Do you consciously try to stop yourself from doing this?


No, I feel no need to do this. Once you get over peer pressure and seeking the approval of others then these issues pretty much have limited impact on your life. I'm happy to let others huddle about talking crap/gossip/celebrities while I amuse myself doing other things. I am rarely motivated by FOMO (fear of missing out), it probably helps I've never been on Facebook or engaged in any kind of social media. I see those tools as ultimately quite damaging to society and people in general. It's mostly about one-up-manship and promoting individuals sense of narcissism. Selfies are the ultimate expression of narcissism in my book. Everyone's trying to be a celebrity for just living their lives. No thanks.


_________________
Aspergers - Because God wanted me to do something at work other than update my Facebook.


Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 39 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse.


Stargazer43
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,604

04 Jan 2015, 8:00 pm

I used to feel this way, when I wasn't confident in myself and felt the need to change who I was to fit in. Nowadays, I don't pay any mind to it. As an example, I hate football, I've never liked it. Lunchtime conversations, both when I was in school and now at work, inevitably center around football a good amount of the time. I used to try to join in and pretend to like it, but now I have no problem letting them know that I find the football conversations terribly boring.

The more that you lie to try to gain social acceptance, the less social acceptance you'll gain in my opinion.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:      

04 Jan 2015, 8:03 pm

Yes.

No.

I hate sports, yet to get along with the sports freaks at work, I've begun paraphraseing what they say and repeating it back to them, but with a negative twist.

He: "Kobe Bryant is AWESOME!"

Me: "As great as Kobe is, the rest of the team should learn to play effectively without his contribution."

Unfortunately, this usually leads to prolonging a completely BORING conversation.

At least they've stopped calling me a "clueless dweeb".



xenocity
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Dec 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,282
Location: Metro Detroit Michigan

04 Jan 2015, 8:56 pm

I personally don't do it.
Though I am told it is quite common for humans to do this in order to fit in.


_________________
Something.... Weird... Something...


Feyokien
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Dec 2014
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,303
Location: The Northern Waste

05 Jan 2015, 2:06 am

Nope, if I don't know anything about it I wont engage.



cberg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,183
Location: A swiftly tilting planet

05 Jan 2015, 2:28 am

Fnord wrote:
Yes.

No.

I hate sports, yet to get along with the sports freaks at work, I've begun paraphraseing what they say and repeating it back to them, but with a negative twist.

He: "Kobe Bryant is AWESOME!"

Me: "As great as Kobe is, the rest of the team should learn to play effectively without his contribution."

Unfortunately, this usually leads to prolonging a completely BORING conversation.

At least they've stopped calling me a "clueless dweeb".


Like cats & laser pointers... how very fnordish of you.


_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


sheila_rawr
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2014
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 21

06 Jan 2015, 9:07 pm

Yes, whenever I have a conversation with people, I re-run everything I've said and if at least one thing is a lie, I feel horrible afterwards. Converstaions just make me feel horrible in general because if they are in groups, I try screaming over people to fit in, but still not noticed; on one-on-one conversations, I end up accidentally be overly honest sometimes and say something that may be mean in my oppinion, but others end up agreeing with me... I feel encouraged by people to say the wrong things. I try to stay away from people at school, but I'm lost without one of my close friends or a comforting destraction.



DanicaBananica
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2014
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 32
Location: Canada

07 Jan 2015, 1:26 pm

sheila_rawr wrote:
Yes, whenever I have a conversation with people, I re-run everything I've said and if at least one thing is a lie, I feel horrible afterwards. Converstaions just make me feel horrible in general because if they are in groups, I try screaming over people to fit in, but still not noticed; on one-on-one conversations, I end up accidentally be overly honest sometimes and say something that may be mean in my oppinion, but others end up agreeing with me... I feel encouraged by people to say the wrong things. I try to stay away from people at school, but I'm lost without one of my close friends or a comforting destraction.



I know how you feel, I do the same thing with talking to people... re-run things over in my head, and feel bad if anything I've said might have been dishonest. Once I actually told a friend that I lied to her because I felt so bad... she was pretty understanding thank goodness.

I still lie about stupid things. I won a t-shirt at work, and wore it to work on the weekend. My boss asked me if I washed it. I told her yes, because a part of me thought if I told her no, that she'd think I was gross or weird for not washing it before wearing it.... I then discovered that her asking me was because she wanted to know if it shrunk at all :/ I felt pretty dumb.


_________________
When we recognize that our external reality is merely a reflection of our internal, we can begin to correct how we think, feel and act within it - until we heal our mind, things can not get better.

http://www.oneworldhealing.net


sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

08 Jan 2015, 1:45 am

I'm not good at lying it feels bad and I can't master it beyond lying like keeping secrets or stuff that is obovious that if I say the truth will pointlessly hurt them. like the "am I fat" question.

Fnord wrote:
Yes.

No.

I hate sports, yet to get along with the sports freaks at work, I've begun paraphraseing what they say and repeating it back to them, but with a negative twist.

He: "Kobe Bryant is AWESOME!"

Me: "As great as Kobe is, the rest of the team should learn to play effectively without his contribution."

Unfortunately, this usually leads to prolonging a completely BORING conversation.

At least they've stopped calling me a "clueless dweeb".

I don't get how you do that. o.O I'll usually just be like "um yeah sure, I don't really follow sports" then carry on with what I was doing. I really don't get the point of sports. well no. I get why people play them, but not why people watch and focus so much on them. rather boring to me, same with video games and airsoft. I have friend who will watch videos of both and they try to show me but ugh boring. I love playing games and airsoft but watching others is pointless.