Is insensitivity a common problem in people with ASD?

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Is it a common problem for them?

I have a friend who I know has a diagnosis, but I'm not sure what it is. She is nice sometimes, but she seems really insensitive. Like when I complain about something to her or get mad at her or someone else when she is there, she laughs rather than being sensitive to the fact that I am upset for whatever reason. My parents said that she probably does it cuz she is not aware that it comes off as being rude and insensitive if you laugh when someone is mad or upset, and not on purpose to be mean.

I was at a mall far from my house with her and someone else and we couldn't find the exit, when we did, we went to the subway station and found out that the machine in that entrance only accepts tokens or metropass and I didn't have either and the token machine didn't work, so I got frustrated and started swearing. She started laughing so I yelled at her that it wasn't funny, but she only laughed more.

I asked my parents if she is autistic, but they say that they don't know what she is diagnosed with.....

1 no.

2. as for the token thing. I don't get why, but a lot of people find people doing stuff like that funny. you also see this happen in movies. It would seem to be a nt thing. or maybe just a people thing.

like if you walk into a pole, some people will laugh. while you get mad and hurt. even still some people who walked into the pole might laugh.

probably to do with people's different ideas of humor.

I certainly wouldn't have laughed at you. I'd probably try to calm you down and figure out a way to fix it or get really quite and anxious.

I find a lot of NTs that are insensitive too.

I suspect in this instance, what you're describing is more a product of society than ASD. While we do get a reputation for being uncaring, that's due to issues with expressing empathy. This sounds more like a case of somebody laughing at the pain of another which is a lack of empathy generated by social media. I would hazard a hypothesis that such dulling of empathy may be more effective on NTs.

Sometimes I laugh when someone is upset because I don't consider the situation a big deal so I use the "silly things are made to be laughed of" method. I would react differently if I knew you are so badly affected by it. But I never know at first. For example a friend told me once "My belly got bigger recently, I have to get on a diet, you know?". I looked at his belly and found nothing unusual in it so I laughed, thinking he is not being serious. He was. He got angry with me afterwards for "laughing at his huge belly" that was not huge for me at all.