Misunderstandings with Friends

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I want some advice

Has anyone ever been in situation when a friend you thought was going to see suddenly leaves the state without telling you, and then gets angry at you for asking why? I have a friend who has their own set of disabilities (one of which may be Autism, but not confirmed), and tends to shut down and isolate themselves from everybody when they're overcome by something. Here's the odd thing: the friend is willing to socialize with others in social networking, but not with me at the moment. When I tried calling that friend, I got a very irritated reply: "So and so, I'm fine!" I was so hurt by the friend reacting this way, I swore off wanting to talk to them again. I ended up up trying to communicate with the friend again, only to still be not acknowledged. It seems that we're still friends on a social networking site, but other than that, no acknowledgement. It's very odd, because I never saw this side to a friend before. It's like the friend turned into a completely different person for reasons I don't know. Considering our similarities, and how we're been able to understand each other before, I just don't understand why we're suddenly at odds.

There's also similar patterns in previous friends. First they are interested, then they drift away, yet are still theoretically friends of mine.

What do you do when I friend is angry with you, and you want to find out why, but are unable to? Part of me just wants to not talk to that person for a year, or maybe many years, unless that person wants to contact back. However, there's another part of my that's deeply upset that I've been closed off by a friend while they seem to be doing well with everyone else, and I want to know why they're inconsiderate of my feelings.

It's multi-edged sword, and I get cut either way. What should I do?

It may be a good idea to give your friend some space - not 'punishing' them by staying away for a specified time, but saying something along the lines of; 'I'm always here for you if you ever need to talk' and just leave it at that. You can't force your friend to communicate if they aren't ready to and that's something you must accept and move on from there.

We don't know what's going on in their minds, even though we may think we have them 'pegged' or understood - sometimes they just may be busy or preoccupied with other things and it may not be your fault at all - why they are choosing to be non-communicative.

There may be a death in your friend's family (why he/she needs to travel interstate without giving reason). I, myself don't really like to justify my actions to others much either and place certain people on a 'need to know' basis.

You could always be open and blunt about the whole situation though, with the whole 'do you still wish to be my friend?' approach - at least you know where you stand before deciding to move on (or not).

I wish you all the best.

Thanks, man. Your advice is wise and practical. I needed some outside practical wisdom. I appreciate your input very much.