My friend just REALLY hurt my feelings.

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Literally just now, my BFF of 5 years really hurt my feelings.
She asked me and my mom to go shopping on Friday instead of Thursday, so she could come with us. We said yes.
So she has had this plan with us all week.
She even promised to be here by 10!
Well, she just texted me that instead, she is going to go shopping for shearing blades for her sheep with someone else.
Which wouldn't be a big deal if she HAD to shear really soon. But she doesn't shear until 2 weeks from now... Plenty of time to go get shears or order them online.


I mean, usually she is late to everything. But her whole family is like that. She says she'll come at 12 and not come till 4. Even when she's left her DRIVERS license at my house, it will take her days to bother with getting it.

A lot of other stuff, but I feel like I put WAAAAY more effort into doing things than she does.

I mean, she's really nice and fun and we get along like PB and J, but when she does stuff like this it hurts me.

Sigh.

Given that she wasted you time, after asking you, then that is pretty rude.

You could go one of two ways:

1. Move on and focus on other people
2. Be honest with her.

If you are going to be honest. You should focus on why her behavior was unreasonable. Try an be cool and collective. If you can't be that way now. Try and do something to improve your mood.

If she had mitigating factors, then she could have offer the to you. On the other hand people tell lie when they have embarrassing reason not for doing things.

The way I read your post, everything was arranged between her and you/mum, then at the last minute she pulled out, to go shopping with someone else.

I have had a couple situations where people agree to do something with me or invite me to things and keep their word until the very last minute. Usually people who pull that only tend to think about what's best for THEM and not for you. Those are people who are very self centered.When people make excuses like that shows that they are not good "Friend" material or people you want to rely on. It also shows that you cannot trust them because it shows a sign of dishonesty.


@ Raini: How often has she pulled situations like the one above? You also have a right to be honest with her about how you feel.
You could tell her "Hey I really feel like you had made a big deal about meeting my mom and I to go shopping. While I agree that things come up, I think you broke your promise. I was really looking forward to meeting up and my day was ruined because my feelings were hurt. Now did I do anything to put you on offense?" Then leave it at that.

This kind of stuff happens all the time. I'm sorry she hurt your feelings.

LOL....there's always SOMEONE who makes more of an effort in a relationship than others. Sometimes, I'm one of those "someones."

It seems like you live in a rural place; I'd be interested to know where you live. I live in a very urban place: New York City. Shearing sheep is pretty fascinating to me.

AWWWWWW...

I wanna shear sheep.



But seriously, i'm going to defend your friend because...

Yeah, i'm late for everything.

Meh.

People are different. Hopefully you're just upset. Ignor her non-sense, or chastise her with a monologue. That last suggestion actually works. Sometimes. Finger wagging is a lost art. This is not sarcasm.

I agree with the person above about sheering sheep. Do you sheer sheep as well? If so how do you like to do it?

You may have a somewhat romanticised view of sheep sheering, just saying.

You have described in your post how this behaviour is part of your friends personality, so she certainly hasnt hurt you deliberately.
You describe your friend having quality aspects that you like.
You cannot change people, neither should you change people so that they suit you more.
I think you should accept your friend for who she is, what she can offer, and just take her negative properties into account, ie, if you need to leave for somewhere at 12 and she wants to come, tell her you would love her to come along but you will be leaving at 12 so if she is late, she will miss out.
That way, you will be no worst off than if you didn't allow her to come in the first place.

In all relationships, you have to accommodate the shortcomings of another, ie, if you have a friend whose company you enjoy but who has no legs, would you complain that they never accompany you when you go hiking?