Proving to people that I am not rambling

Post Reply New Topic

So most recently I just about every time I ride the bus I try and talk to people and they start laughing. It turns out that they don't know who I am talking to. I heard them say that I ramble. I want to know what I can do to prove that I am talking to them and not to "Myself" or "At" them.

What do you suggest?

Do you know their names? If you know their names, you could try saying their name before you start talking -- e.g.:

"Bob, [story/fact/stuff]....."

If they're strangers or people you know but don't know their names, maybe:

Start with a standard greeting, like, "Hi, how's it going?"

Turn towards them (so the front of your body or at least your face is facing in their direction) before you start and while you're talking to them;

When you first start talking, look at them to see if they look back at you when you start talking (if they do it means they're probably listening, if they don't it's unknown whether or not they're listening);

Ask them questions. Asking a question and waiting for a response indicates that you're talking to someone other than yourself and hopefully they will realize it's them -- if they don't answer, at least their silence will let you know that they can't tell you're talking to them or that they're ignoring you (or that they can't hear you or don't speak English or don't understand the mechanics of conversation or whatever else....in any case you'll know they aren't picking up the other end of your offered conversation.)

Asking questions may also help to avoid talking "at" people (unless you only ask "yes/no" type questions).

I think "rambling" can also mean going off on tangents or switching from topic to topic without saying anything that helps people know you've switched topics, and/or not explaining well (or at all) how the things you say are linked together (I have this problem when I try to tell stories or explain things that have more than one or two pieces to them). It can make it hard for people to follow you and respond to what you say even when they know that you're trying to converse with them. If that's the sort of "rambling" they meant, then I have no idea what to suggest.

Thank you so much for the great tip. I will be more than happy to use that.