"Why are you so serious?"

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Ever get this said to you about your facial expression?

A former girlfriend said this constantly. My wife used to say this ALL THE TIME, until I would just give her a dirty look. Now it is a banned phrase, or if she says it we just laugh.

I get....why are you so....serious,depressed, angry.Sometimes my face does match my emotion but most the time I am either unaware I am feeling that or am actually feeling opposite or "nothing"....but I maybe "thinking" something.

That's not as bad as "Smile"

Did you perma-ban her from your life?

This is my expression as seen by everybody else
People usually ask if i'm feeling tired, even though i'm fine Recently they have been telling me that I seem 'spaced out'

I used to. Now I let myself play more in conversation. They don't ask me this anymore; they just look confused/scared.

LOL no perma ban yet.

I guess my expression does match my feelings, I feel kind of "neutral" most of the time.

Great Stellar's Jay in your sig too...I have a yard full of those rascals that beg for peanuts.

I get both being told I'm too serious, and to take things more seriously. This is evidence that I'm probably about where I should be. (Hey, not like people are going to ever tell you that you're right)

Yes, I used to get that all the time when I was a kid, and then a teen. But now that I'm an adult, people just realize, "He's serious", and leave it at that. It's a question that's not quite correct in itself, provoke such responses as: "Why? How serious should I be?" We've all seen people who are too silly, laughing like a hyena, and I think we're at the better extreme. But of course, most of us Aspies come off as more "starched" than we really are, and it's only when people get to know us that they realize that.

"smile" is horrible.

I watched a girl pester a guy all night long to cheer up.. "smile" she would say. "why dont you smile?" "you'd feel better if you smiled"

This visibly upset him. She didnt clue in though.

At the end of the evening, he'd had enough, and turned to her, "Listen you dumb cow, I had a stroke, and one side of my face is paralised, and I cant smile. Having you rub it in doesnt exactly make me feel any better!"

Until that point, I had been totally unaware that he didnt smile ever... I am oblivious to such things.

I dont think he was embarrassed, just annoyed. Imagine if he had been parapalegic, but sitting in a regular chair, and she pestered him to get up and walk around. "All that sitting isnt good for you!". Its not necesarily any of her business, and really, NTs want to blend in too at times.

I am rather often accused of having the emotional capacity of a moss-covered rock.

I have had my share of personal tragedies as well as miracles. While I do feel quite a great deal of dispair and joy alike(at least I think I do), I seem to have an issue with displaying those emotions. When I walked back to the ruins of my home after the hurricane that destroyed the gulf coast a year and a half ago, I was told that it seemed like I didn't care that my things and my home were destroyed. Looking back on it, I think another person might have had a harder time dealing with it. When my car was wrecked a few years ago when a dump truck backed into it accidentally, I walked out and called my insurance company and got the driver's information. He remarked to me that it was almost like I was doing a job and asked if it really was -my- car that he'd destroyed.

It's hard to tell whether I'm feeling enough emotions, or if I'm really just not showing enough. Could an aspie's mind be too logic-oriented to feel strong emotions over unavoidable events?

I usually get:

"Why don't you ever smile?"

"Why don't you ever talk?"

I've never been called serious before,actually.


-SpaceCase