Was this rude?

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We have a security door at our front entrance.

Someone came by our home with a UPS package meant for us that had been delivered to his home. I am not exactly sure where he lives but I do not believe it was on our street.

He rang the doorbell. I opened the main door but not the security door.

I gratefully said "Thank you very much. It can be left outside."

My thought process was, "What would I do in this situation?" I would either.

1) Left the package outside the door and not disturbed the homeowner.

2) Called UPS and tell them of the incorrect delivery and have them pick it up and redeliver to the correct address.

I would not have gone to the home, pounded on the doorbell, and disturbed the homeowners.

My mother was EXTREMELY angry at me for not opening the security door and taking the package from his hand.

Was I offensive or rude?

Last edited by KevinLA on 19 May 2015, 9:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

My opinion?

What the guy who brought you the mis-delivered package:
Exactly what I would have done (no pounding on the door, though, if no-one came to a soft knock or buzz of a doorbell I'd've left it on the porch).

What you did:
Not rude at all in my opinion, I'd have done the same or maybe opened the door and thanked him for bringing the package, maybe had a laugh about people who can't read addresses being paid to make deliveries.

What your mom did:
I think she over-reacted, unless the guy looked like Charlie Manson coming to get his next victim. I honestly don't see any reason to get "EXTREMELY angry" at the guy who had your package. It wasn't his mistake, after all; he was trying to rectify someone else's mistake as quickly and expediently as possible. He could have tossed it or left it out for thieves and bad weather to steal and destroy.

I'm Aspie, so maybe I'm wrong on the social convention!

I was not clear. She was angry with me for not opening the door. She thought I was very rude.

I don't think it was rude. That's what you have a security door for, isn't it?
You politely asked him to leave the package outside. It's not like you said "go away and quit bothering us." I think your mother overreacted.

My thinking exactly.

I am even willing to concede it might have been slightly offensive.

People are just odd. The whole time I was thinking why this person would drive over and deliver the package himself. I was almost a little shellshocked. It would never cross my mind to do this. For anyone that wants to criticise me for thinking this way, being nice and being odd are mutually exclusive.

Call UPS and have them do it. Although unintentional, he caused a big issue by driving it over himself. Or how about just leaving the package outside the door and leaving me alone. Exactly what I have done.

I should have gone into fake neurotypical mode, opened the door, praised him for 2 minutes, and gave him a drink.

Can someone address this question? Was the proper thing to do to call UPS and have them pick up the package?

Maybe they are a person kind enough to deliver it to the correct address, rarely any good decent people in this world.

No but I understand why you or anyone would be suspicious.

It is unusual that someone would go through all that just to get the package to the right address.

Yes I agree the right thing to do was to call the company.

But I believe if they really were your nieghbor/lived in your street than it's okay because even if you don't know your neighbors it's fine if they give you your mail that was accidentally sent to them.

But if this guy really did not live in your street and you think he lived somehwere else than I agree calling ups was the right thing.

Proximity matters. Someone from across half the country did this to me I'd probably call the police immediately.

THANK YOU. I am sure the person did not live on our street. He did not realize what he did what inappropriate.
The whole time I was kind of creeped out by this guy.

You wasn't rude at all, your mother just overreacted. Did she expect you to run out and give him a hug or something as well. You thanked him so there shouldn't have been any bother.

Don't let it get to you.

The guy himself was just been friendly, if i got a package by mistake i would take it to where it belongs if it was a street near to me. If i was working all the time i would be thinking they would have no chance to collect it and what if its a really important package.

You're mom overacted, not rude at all just let it go. You could have just said it was the wrong address you don't have to know where he lives they'll figure it out.

i don't think what he did was inappropriate but you didn't do anything wrong.

It was proper for you to tell him to leave the package there.

I don't see anything creepy about somebody delivering something for you that was meant for you.

It was better that you were made aware of the package. If the other guy just left the package there, you might not have been aware of it for a while. Perhaps (very unlikely) some other person might have stole it.

Your mother had rather an extreme reaction which was inappropriate to what occurred.

I don't think either of you did the wrong thing. What planet do you come from where ringing the doorbell is considered rude?

I bet that's why they call this site Wrong Planet LOL!

If a package was wrongly delivered to me, and the person lived close by, I would deliver the package myself. It would allow the person to get the package much sooner than if UPS had to redeliver it. It would be a friendly, neighborly thing to do.

An unexpected stranger should not expect to have a door opened. Not opening the security door is not rude. It is cautious.

It is good that the man did notify you that he brought the package over so that it did not sit outside your door unnoticed, especially since he may not have known to which door packages are usually delivered. Both you and he acted rightly.

Whether or not the package was rightfully or wrongfully delivered to your front door should not even be brought to the table as far as the "rudeness" or "lack-there-of" is concerned. Lets play devils advocate and assume it was in fact properly brought to your door...what then?

Well depending upon the type of package that is being delivered...you might perhaps need to sign for it...in those instances you have a choice and neither option could be construed as "rude"...

1.) you could choose to leave the door shut and not sign for the package.
or
2.) You could accept the package but you might need to actually open the door in order to sign for it.

What you are describing here does not strike me as even having overtones of rudeness, when you go on other's property would you find being received in this manner to be rude? If the answer is "no" then I wouldn't consider it rude at all.