My clothing choices and how I wear them

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One of the arguments that I get with a women that helps my family is over my clothing choices.
One of the things I like to wear is long pants, specifically sweat pants. A tshirt, and socks while I wear crocs. To me, this is comfortable. I prefer long pants because I don't feel so exposed. No if I am swimming, that another story. I also like to wear my pants to my belly button. That just how I have always worn pants.
Anyway, she says I need to change so that women will like me. Like I need slacks and jeans. Now I can understand having nice clothes. The thing is, to me slacks and jeans are specialty clothes, like clothes you wear for special occasions. She berates me for wearing the same thing everyday (I don't wear the same clothes every day, though I do have duplicates of the same pants). That I wear my pants too high (As she says like a nerd and up to my nipples). And that wearing crocs and socks is a bad thing comparable to wearing socks and sandels. I realize that crocs aren't nice shoes, but they are still shoes.
To me, I like my clothing. However, she is one of those women that expects you to listean to her and follow her, always coming up with some explanation as to why she knows better. (Saying things like she has experience from having 3 kids and what not). Has anyone had problems like this before?

I can understand what you're saying.

I wish this were the 1940's--pants over the belly were in style then.

Nowadays, it is in style for people to wear pants around the waist (or, unfortunately, below the waist sometimes).

It's a bitch--but how you wear your clothes is more important than you think.

I think you could get away with wearing button-down shirts/polo shirts and nice slacks, so long as you wear the slacks around, or just above the waist. You don't really need to wear jeans, as far as I'm concerned.

I, myself, wouldn't give two craps what you wear--as long as you wear clean clothes.

But women, alas, tend to look at clothes more than men.

Also: slacks/pants these days are not made, usually, to be worn above the belly button.

Saying all this: I am of the opinion that one has a right to dress how one chooses.

Does she realize that she's being terribly rude by criticizing your clothing choices when nobody asked for her opinion?

On the other side, she's right that women won't find you attractive if you wear sweat pants and crocs (with or without socks). The question is whether you care, and whether you want to hear her opinion on what women like.

The way to shut up people like her is to stare at them and say "Thank you for your opinion" no matter what they say.

Said woman would annoy the living sh*t out of me. Anything visual doesn't click with me and personally I think way too many people are caught up in "image" as opposed to the core traits someone possesses and works on. Style is the worst culprit, every year there's a new "in" style that everybody is herded into accepting even though said new style is only a regurgitated variation on something that came before it. This is one issue where I'm very happy I'm a male, if I were female I'd be judged much more on this superfluous aspect of modern life.

As for the lady that's constantly criticizing you, simply say "style is a personal preference, I'm glad you have your opinions, but I prefer my own." Be ready for a litany of invalidation towards your beliefs: when a person with strong opinions is met with rebuttal they many times have to belittle the other person to keep their self-esteem. Don't pay attention to it, understand that the opinionated person feels weak and cornered since they're so used to people deferring to them that they feel the need to lash out as a defense mechanism.

i think that socially, sweat pants are considered "lounge wear" or "pajamas". therefore, if one wears sweatpants as regular everyday clothing, the association is that that person is "lazy" and does not go out, work, or do any activities. Also, the tendency is that they are oversized, and the association with that may be that you don't have to care about your body's condition or whether you gain weight because they will fit no matter what and conceal an unhealthy body.

Of course, this isn't necessarily the case and I don't think that this description applies to you, but you can understand where the associations may come from. it's kind of like the psychology of color... wearing a red shirt doesn't mean you are angry or harsh, but red is associated with those feelings.

if you don't care about what others say, then great. don't care. if you don't like that the clothing may give off the wrong message, then you might consider something more "athletic" looking that would still be made of a comfortable material but would communicate more of a positive message to those who adept at understanding these types of social communications. again, if you'd rather just wear what you want, then by all means! i'm sure that not everyone holds the same opinions about your clothes.

Only a Guido or a gym teacher can pull off a jogging suit every day, really. Also, they are two entirely different looks as well. She probably sees sweats as "lazy clothes" or that you aren't putting forth an effort to "look nice" for her. I get that because my husband only wears jeans or shorts and tshirts, unless I iron something else for him and bring it to him and say "Put that on after you get out of the shower please", and then he does. I don't do that much, only when I feel he should dress a little better for some reason, we have been married for 28 years, I don't much care about how he wears anymore, I know what he looks like. Although he still really likes for me to dress up in a dress and heels, but that works because I like to do that.

So, you have a couple choices here. You could blow it off and continue wearing what you want all the time, and you'll probably lose your gf. It won't be over the clothes really, but over your unwillingness to make an effort to please her no matter how stupid the thing you have to do to please her is. Really. You could also just wear jeans and button downs or polo type shirts instead when you go out with her or you are around her and throw in the sweats from time to time, gradually wearing them more often until she starts bitching again and then bring back the jeans, or you could steal an idea from the Guido's and get a couple nice jogging suits and some clean tennis shoes and dress that up. Depending on her, you might strike a happy medium there. I'd seriously suggest a matching pants and jacket jogging suit, a nice one, and wear a clean, solid tshirt or wife beater under it. Also some jewelry like a necklace and bracelet shows that you aren't dressing down.

So, there you have it. Those are the choices.

As for wearing pants low, I remember when that started and I hated it. I kept pulling up my jeans because the new ones weren't high enough, then I found out about "Mom jeans" and that my favorite ones were "Mom jeans" and I gave them to my mother and haven't worn anything higher than two inches below my belly button since lol. Except for some retro high waisted pants that are supposed to be that way because they are with vintage outfits. 40's crap. Think Katherine Hepburn pants.

She's being this way because she has an idea in her head what she thinks you could look like. She wants to see that and she doesn't understand why you wouldn't want it too. She probably cares a lot about how she looks and thinks you should too. If you give in and make an effort she will probably get bored with it after a while. I used to dress my boyfriends sometimes too and thats always what happened. I got bored with it and they went back to normal, no problems. And they had some nice clothes to wear when they needed them. It's sort of the girl version of making your significant other wear a garter belt and thong lol. Of course I once dressed one guy up in a leather vest, a white tshirt and those knee high suede lace up fringed boots like Dog The Bounty Hunter, way before Dog was ever Dog. But it was 1980, so I had my reasons. We won't discuss the Michael Jackson pants, jacket and glove though. I refuse.

Basically, which is more important to you? Keeping the gf happy, shutting up the nagging and getting on with your relationship, or being comfortable?


ETA; I misread. I thought she was your gf. I do agree that you are more likely to get a gf (and a job) if you ditch those clothes. Otherwise though, if you are happy with your relationship status, or lack of, and aren't going out job hunting, wear what you want to wear, but don't expect to be taken too seriously any place outside of a gym. Well, the crocs mean you won't be taken seriously in a gym either, so I don't know.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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