Do you have problems socializing and/or making friends?

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I left piano lesson after learning for 7 years because I don't know how to make friends in there. Everyone in my piano group are really lucky to get along with their friends but me? I just sit there reading the same magazine for the millionth time trying not to get bored.
I moved to another school because of the same issue. But I moved back to my old school because mom doesn't like how they teach their students.

That's how big my social issue gives an impact. Do you have social issues? I'd like to hear stories from you all guys!

Yes, I have problems socializing, but it's because I don't have enough interest to start a conversation. If I must ask something I actually need, then I just do it, but when is about having small conversations I feel like my head is empty.
But I guess it only means I have to practice more until I become comfortable making any kind of conversations.They say if you pretend to be another person long enough, you'll become that person.

I can get on well with people superficially or if I have a reason to be talking to someone, such as if I have to ask a question. But I hardly ever make friends.
When I've tried being friends with people it becomes overwhelming and then I get paranoid about the person and it confuses me why the person wants to be friends with me. If I dont understand them then I feel uncomfortable and we can't be friends.
For this reason I have no friends but I have plenty of aquaintances.

Friendships are hard for me because I find it hard to hold and maintain a conversation and connecting with people is hard
a lot of aspies seem to have a couple of friends despite struggling with this

But I have none.

I'd guess it's a struggle for some of us aspies but not for everyone.

I feel like I'm definitely off-kilter in some areas, though I'm thankful I can at least conceive of people having different opinions. Some even struggle with that.

Conversations often seem very superficial, so while I might enjoy them in the moment I don't feel any connection to or interest in someone beyond that.

I was bullied alot as a kid because of my physical disabilities & my Aspie quirks. I kind of learned to keep to myself. I think my biggest social issues now are that I'm quiet & don't bother to try & meet people.

Yes. I often feel like I have nothing interesting to say or much to offer.

For me, I don't think it's the socializing and making friends part I'm having trouble with. I think it's more of telling whether if people are real friends or not. I know now that facebook is not such a good way to keep or make friends, but I found out that I do have the abillity to make friends, so it's not hard for me to do so. I'm actually working on a book called "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie which I've heard mentioned billions of times from people who have aspergers just like myself all over the internet. Has anyone tried this? And if so any other books I should know about that might improve social life? Anything mentioned will be appreciated.

Congrats on taking positive steps to improve your social skills! I found that my Aspie bookworm and "follow the rules" nature served me well in improving myself socially. There are tons of books out there on how to improve social skills, and Carnegie is arguably the most famous.

I have found that one of the more important skillsets involves learning to be an attentive listener. If I can recall any books dealing specifically with that I will let you know.

Thanks a lot!! ! I really appreciate that as I really want to improve my social skills. Just to let you know, I found out about this from an group called Asperger Experts which works with people on the spectrum, which the group is actually owned by two people who have the same condition as we all do here and are the only ones running it. I will post the link later after I take care of some errands.

I have trouble KEEPING friends. I have noticed that I have a little success meeting and staying in touch with people when they're part of a work or school group, though. I tried to join a public speaking club to get a feel for natural communication. It has helped a little. I have to do mini-speeches and micro-lectures to feel comfortable. I can do small talk now, but I had to learn how to do it. I think people judge my lack of speaking as a lack of interest at first, but later I think they may start to understand. It helps a lot to just build up a habit. Talk even when you don't feel like it. Yes, it can be awkward at first. You can even tell them you're doing research or conducting an experiment on communication styles, or you can be more upfront and explain that it's for your personal and professional growth. Adults usually understand.

If you're still a kid, even a teen, though, things could be a bit more difficult, and these rules might not apply. It might be best, in that case, to just seek out people who have similar interests. Get involved in a hobby, and learn how to do it really well. Make that hobby your identity. Then, people will begin to see you as your hobby, ask you questions, and gradually provide opportunities for making friends. When they start to move in, have some talking topics ready. It might be helpful to use the feedback models that counselors use part of the time. Just re-word what they say to show that you're listening and ever so gradually build on it. For example, "that's a wonderful drawing of an owl. My grandmother used to have an owl like that in her backyard." You could say, "Thank you. She had an owl?" In this example, all you did was acknowledge what the speaker said. You did not try to add more information. The speaker can now take the conversation where he or she wants it to go. She may talk about drawing more, which may hint she wants you to show her some techniques, or she might talk about owls and grandmothers more, indicating she wants the conversation to go somewhere else. Just follow along. Often, kids just want to be heard and feel like their opinions are important. Also, don't be afraid to make suggestions. People often like being around helpful people.

I know how to make friends....but unfortunately I cannot make friends, if that makes sense. I seem to be able to make friends better with others with disabilities (not just ASDs), or people that are quite odd or have learning difficulties or something, or even things like Bipolar. But otherwise, I can't seem to form that close connection with ''normal'' people. I can get acquainted, but I can't seem to go much further than that.

Inwardly I am a good socializer. I can recognize and read body language really quick, and other non-verbal cues. I can read people just like that, and can pick up on all sorts of emotions in people just by looking at someone, and I am good with telling what different body language types mean and so on. But that doesn't really help me to make friends though. Sometimes when a person first meets me, I can tell that they think they're going to click with me right away, and they keep coming up to me to talk, as if they really want to be my friend. I talk back, because I love being noticed and having social interaction, and I enjoy small talk so I just do all those basic social graces what I've learnt to do over the years by observing others. But then I notice the other person drifting away after a little while, even though they are still friendly, but they've noticed something about me that's a bit offish, so they just keep acquainted. Or sometimes go off me altogether.

The frustrating thing about it is, because I'm only very mild and have learnt most social skills and can make normal eye contact and have a sense of humour and everything, it's very hard to actually pinpoint where I go ''wrong''. I don't think it's something that can ever be explained. It's just...something about me, something there that's too complex to explain even for other people. I hate living like this, and if I think too deeply about it I do hate myself for it.

But - I seem to be better than some of my peers with a romantic relationship though. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year, and he's NT, and no he's not just using me, he's a really good partner and often tells me how understanding and empathetic I am. He doesn't even know I have AS. I can't seem to pluck up the courage to tell him, as I feel too embarrassed. So I just make out I'm an eccentric NT with anxiety/stress issues. That's what I sometimes consider myself as anyway, so that I don't need to dwell on having such an ugly diagnosis. I hate that word ''Asperger's Syndrome''. Always makes me cringe for some reason.

I have problems making and keeping friends. I'm like the woman who posted before me, only older. I can not seem to be able to read when a person is interested in me or when fed up. I can make conversation. I have learned this during an Adlerian counselling course. I sometimes to a woman who lived in the same living community as I did. They're were all people with learning disabilities, so one more (me) didn't make much difference. This woman is very weird when you don't know her, but we share these memories of that community.
I am also kind of tricky. I had a friend in my street but when I moved house contact has been difficult. I text her but she doesn't reply and the sms is working I get replies from other people. She said we keep in touch. I've seen her once because I went there. I only moved 15 minutes away. I don't understand why people say one thing and do the opposite. I thought friendship suppose to come from both sides.

Of course I do.

The last time I had any real friends was probably back when I was in elementary school.

Years of isolation have left me with a complete incapability to conduct myself in social situations. Whenever I actually have to be around people I get really nervous and wind up looking like a total idiot. This kind of drives people off.

Also, I'm used to being alone all of the time, which leads me to not seek out new friends.

Ever since I dropped out of high school, I've had a lot of trouble making new friends. It's hard to find anyone to hang out with who isn't always preoccupied with work.