Leaving me hanging so I left

Post Reply New Topic

Since last year I had made plans with a friend to stay with him and two other young adult women who he had been close with. He and the other hotel mates are all die in the hard video game fans and like to attend video game panels and other similar activities. Meanwhile I am interested in anime, MLP, some work shop panels and the like.

He and I have also been close for a good year and a half and we usually have gotten along very well. It was during the convention however that he acted very differently. Not once did he call, text or suggest doing things with me to balance out time with his closest friends. Instead

1. He associated with this video game clique and their friend
2. He and his other friends made me feel like crap by hinting that I wouldn't be able to understand the concept of video games
3. He and his friends turned their noses to my suggestions to doing this or that with them but they turned their noses at me and said it wasn't their cup of tea. Yet when I wasn't going they ran into me a day later saying they were going to play laser tag.
4. He said really nasty things about my friends
5. He talked to me like a little kid

Being around the other three made me feel miserable and I finally grew fed up with the way that I was treated so I asserted myself on Saturday morning.

"I need to talk to you guys. Listen I don't think it's going to work out for us to room together next year. For one thing I like my own space but I would rather room with someone whose more interested in anime. This just isn't a good fit for me but I am sorry that I am not a video gamer."

At that point they didn't say anything to me going forward as I was leaving the room. Rather I said to have a good day and they said the same in a cold tone.

Long story short I ended up running into another friend of mine and explained the situation and he invited me to stay in his suite. So I avoided my friend and his clique for the rest of the day even though we ran into each other twice and they attempted to say hello and be friendly but I just ignored them. I also picked up my luggage from my friend's room when they were not there, dropped off my key with the hotel and went to drop my things off at the new place. I didn't tell them what I was doing or anything and they didn't bother to ask me what was up or anything so.

Any thoughts because I am confused by my friend.

Although there have clearly been some issues, may be they were trying to say hello and be friendly.

To try and let it go.

but because you ignored them they assume you don't want to be spoken to and are still frustrated or upset with them so this is why they haven't asked about it...maybe giving you time to think about it or something.

But yes it is clear they have mistreated you and this needs to all be properly discussed with them. Communication is the key...

I didn't mind that they said hello to me because it means that they were reaching out. I normally don't mind the whole "Being polite to each other" scenario. Saturday morning in our room was the last straw for me.

1. We were talking about Mario and Bowser and I asked his friend if she had seen annoying orange and she shot me down for that "Yes and don't ever mention it again."
2. I was talking about cos playing as a vulcan in past and how I put on make up since she was applying some for a cosplay that she was doing. So I talked about how Vulcans are space elves. She said "No they're not." I said "Another friend of mine said that comment once." My own friend made the comment about how "I've noticed this pattern with your own friends that they seem to have other names for characters. That's not good and your friends don't know what they're doing."

They made similar comments all weekend that bothered me including the ones about how they were certain that I didn't understand video games but when scenario number 2 really hit home. So that is why I was avoiding them. They were pretty mean.

First of all, it's a good point that Vulcans are space elves. I'm going to do some more thinking about that.

Years ago, when I was a younger person, I went to a disabled people convention for this rare disease that I have. I went with my female cousin and made plans to hang out with a male friend that I knew from local rare disease events. We all have the rare disease. Since we're all three know the same research doctors and keep up with current research I assumed we would be spending time together at least for the academic talks.

Nope. He spent the whole time drunk, hitting on girls, being really rude to me to my face in front of the girls. I guess to impress them and to make it clear that he wasn't there with me. I mean, he could have just said I'm not here with this girl and I would have agreed. I had words with him afterward. He apologized and it didn't happen again.

Maybe your friend was trying to impress his lady friends by putting you down. Like, being the Cool Guy Head Nerd in the Sea of Nerds. YOUR nerd stuff is "not cool" whereas HIS nerd stuff is, you know? I would tell him to stop acting like a jerk at conventions or you're not going to talk to him at the next one. YOUR friendship is what's important. Take it away from him if he's not going to appreciate it.

When I started standing up for myself and avoiding them not once did any of them ask if I was okay or apologize for their actions. Rather they were cold and inconsiderate to the feelings of others.

For instance I walked by one of his friends who said hi in a nice tone later on that day when we crossed paths but I didn't respond or look at her. She got mad and said "Find bye then wow!" That was the last I saw any of them.

I honestly don't know what he sees the female friend who shot me down about bringing up Annoying Orange and his spin off of Mario. For one thing she has a bad potty mouth, she appears to be very quick tempered and low tolerant to things, she's arrogant and has an attitude. He on the other hand doesn't talk like that at all and then he has two degrees and well paying job and lives on his own.

Both are also on the spectrum by the way but it was not excuse to act like that.