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Yesterday I found out that a friend gave out my (public) e-mail address to some woman whom works at a pizza joint that we frequent, she e-mailed me wanting to know if I had a Facebook account so that she could "hook up" with me.
Now first off, I never authorized him to give out my e-mail address regardless if it were my public account or my private account so I'm upset about that, secondly he's so adamant that this woman "want's me" that he's trying to convince me that I need to go out on a date with her (despite the fact I believe she already has a BF) or have sex with her because he feels that she want's me due to the fact she socializes with us and yes to my own fault I've actually talked with her 1:1 once. I kept telling him I'm not into her like that and that I don't have any feelings for her (or anybody) to which he says "you need to get over that and get with her she wants you" so starting to get pissed I basically said "why don't You go with her and date her why don't you have sex with her being that you seam to be obsessed with her" to which he replied (and I'll censor some of his remarks) "I would rock her world (in many ways) but I think you should hit that" finally fed up "I replied I'm not interested in her in that way OK?!?! God please let it be! If I should want to date then I'll ask her, If I want to have sex I'll hire a stripper, If I want a friend I'll call you, and if I want companionship I will adopt a dog.

To which he said "I got to work I'm shutting off my phone."

I am wondering if this type of thing is normal for NT's? Now to me it seams he has an addiction to p0rn he's always showing me images of nude woman from various 'hook up' sites me trying to be normal here I just say yea that's cool (even tho I don't care about such images) and shrug it off and try to come up with another topic.

So I dunno what to think here anybody got any advice?

Are you personally Asexual (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality), which means you aren't attracted to men or women?

If so, the problem might be that he doesn't understand that you are Asexual - most people don't I don't think.

This will be especially true if you haven't actually told him that you aren't attracted to women but are only pretending to be.

Anyway, this is not normal NT behavior.

Sounds like this guy is trying to convert you into heterosexual/straight.

He might even think you are actually gay but pretending to be straight so he's trying to test you by showing you pr0n and trying to hook you up with dates. But obviously he is doing it in a very inconsiderate, unethical way. A true friend would try to help you with relationships but also understand your own wants and feelings.

This guy is a d*ck...

But like I said it really depends on just how much you've told him as well.

Well put.

He's just messing with you. I have a friend that used to do that same kind of thing to me, except with really gross pictures. He was just trying to shock me and see my reaction. In the case of my friend, he did that to everyone he knew and was secretly a very nice guy. That may not be the case with your friend, he may just be a d*ck.

My one year old son also acts in a similar fashion when he's looking for a few laughs. I just ignore him. Making a big deal out of it one way or another rewards the behavior and ensures that he'll keep doing it. I would respond to anything offensive he says with a "whatever" or "shut up man..." then immediately change the subject. DON'T use logic on him. If you hear from the girl, I'd say that you're sorry but you have "feelings for" someone else or are "talking to" someone else and are not available and your friend didn't know you're not available. This way her feelings won't get hurt but she should leave you alone.

Friends do these kinds of things to each other sometimes. I wouldn't say it's "normal" but it's not entirely uncommon. I'd say a lot of us know "that guy."

He might be doing those things to you because he knows it makes you uncomfortable. I usually see people who have fun making someone feel bad and then say "they were just kidding".
It's just like the internet, don't feed the trolls or in this case, don't show him you're uncomfortable.

Hey guys thanks for the responses, I've let him know that I'm not gay (and I'm not) & that I don't harbor any ill feelings towards them (he does from time to time he's a southern Conservative) as for the p0rn pics I've told him a few times to put it away I'm not interested in such stuff which I really am not ya know maybe if I were 14-15 I'd be more receptive to what he's showing me but that's not the case now I know he tries to get me to go to brestarunts such as hooters or twisted kilt just so he look at the cleavage of the waitresses and again I'm way out of my comfort zone due to the fact it's a noisy bar it's crowded which he likes (extrovert would best describe him) and I know a 'friendship' is a two way street so I try my damnest to keep my composure but I end up leaving the establishments with major headaches or on the verge of being over stimulated due to the environment he always asks what's wrong with you man and I always tell him it's way too noisy for me he typically blows it off by saying "aww come on it's not that bad" and I try telling him it's like it's amplified 10x for me and his reaction is always the dumb ass question "why?" and I try explaining that because of what I have I have issues with loud sounds and bright lights he normally says "you should try to get over it... how will you function when you get a job in the media and have to be around people?!" then quickly shows me more p0rn pictures.

For the "bad" that he has done he's also helped me come out of my shell by showing me around town and is willing to do stuff almost routine with me such as going to the city taking the same routes and going by or stopping in front of a local TV station that I hope to work for in the future. I just wish that I was more 'normal' where I wasn't off put by his casual use of p0rnography or him wanting me to shack up with some women because he feels it would make me "happy"....I wish that I could find somebody closer to my age whom is on the spectrum and shares some of the same interests as I do...where we could share some in depth conversations about related topics without having to resort to pictures of some woman spread eagle whom knows what it's like to be sensitive to loud sounds or bright lights.

I take what I can get I suppose.

He sounds like a typical, sort of "redneck," type of guy.

He doesn't understand anything about autism. He thinks all the symptoms you exhibit are "all in your head." I've known many of these type of guys.

It wasn't cool for him to give out your email--though his intentions might not have been bad.

I can dig that you might like girls--but that you don't like porn. I can understand that sort of thing quite well.

Maybe he's not the sort of guy you should hang out with.

kraftiekortie good to hear from you again!

I think what sets this person aside from a red neck is that he has an education a college degree and doesn't work in a low(er) socioeconomic job

I've tried showing him videos of various people whom are on the spectrum like Jacob Barnett & Temple Grandin and another kid with Aspergers to show that there are high(er) functioning people out there to which he showed me a video of a 20/20 segment of a kid in a dinner acting Autistic and he said "that's not you" and made a joke about how people with aspergers should go anywhere because they act like the kid in the video and disrupt the public however I'm guessing that's his way of processing the fact I have Autism is to make light of such things maybe to down play the fact I'm not "normal" I dunno.

Yea, I'm not happy about that but hey that's why I have a public acct so that I can delete s#it that I don't want to read

I'm not a prude when it comes to p0rn I understand what it's for and if one's into it go for it! But I'm kinda tired of being subjected to it for lack of a better word and it's always the same old line I really got to get off these sites and then he shows me another one.

Again my choices are so f'in limited! I mean this guy has been instrumental in setting me on the right path by encouraging me to continue my education and to try to achieve my future goals and helps me out from time to time with getting clothes for interviews when I should return to work I feel this is sorta like an abusive relationship that we've seen on lifetime we see the woman sticking with the man because he says the right words and form time to time spends money on her but also he has a dark side I dunno what to think

Last edited by JoelFan on 28 May 2015, 7:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Then he should understand it when you tell him to cut out the porn. It's not cool to force it down your throat. There are things about porn I don't like--like its exploitative nature.

He's just trying to fix you with the girl from the pizza place. But you don't seem like you're into her....so he should stop trying to fix you up. Tell him---when you're ready to get a date--that you will get a date.

He just thinks getting a girlfriend will solve all your problems.

If you want me to be honest: I've liked girls who work in pizza places. They have an "earthy" quality to them which I find appealing.

But maybe this is just not your "cup of tea." Maybe you want a quieter person, less "earthy," one who understand your need for privacy.

Kraftiekortie, I tried disclosing the fact that I have Autism to the woman at the pizza restaurant (just to give her a forewarning) to which she said hey some of the most smartest phucking people are autistic and I'm willing to bet your one of them the sad fact is I don't feel smart and my current IQ score kinda backs that up (I think it's flawed but there may be some truth to it)

Ya know kraftiekortie, I'm numb due to some of the pain I've endured in life but whatever small part of me is still uncalloused I don't want to expose it because if that part of me becomes calloused I worry....I truly worry what will happen to me....and to the people around me and that thought scares the living phuck outta me!

She sounds pretty cool, actually, to tell you the truth.

I dunno....maybe give her a try? Maybe she might make a good friend for you.

She seems like she'd be okay if you didn't "hit the sack" right away. She might not mind it if you took it slow.

But you have to tell her that you're not that sort of guy who "hits the sack" right away, and that you're waiting for the "right girl."

If she's not cool with that, then she's not worth your time.

The guy is a typical NT moron and has a desire to live through you vicariously. You need to stand up for yourself and stop relying on him and perhaps even stop socializing with him. If you play in mud you are going to get muddy, change your milieu to one you are comfortable with life is to short spending it anxious and living by others rules and expectations. You life desires are as valid and correct as anyone else. And you are not asexual or homosexual because you are not attracted to each and every women you come in contact with or see and you do not need to feel diminished if you do not want to hump everything, Selectivity is a higher level of human relation and leads to beautiful lasting relationships not just blowing splooge in some random vagina you might as well beat off it costs less and doesn't talk too much.

Ok so earlier last week I went to the pizza joint where she worked and we talked for a little bit told her I replied back to her message via e-mail to which she really wanted my facebook page name so she could communicate with me to which I told her e-mail would be the better route being that I normally check my e-mail more then I do FB to which she just said Ok that's fine and haven't heard from her since sooo I dunno what to think.

I wonder if she lost your email address. Either way, it might not be so bad, since you weren't that much into her, anyway.

I could careless either way...I only replied because the aforementioned 'friend' told me it's a "normal" thing to do and I'm trying to appear less odd (if that's possible).

If you don't feel that way about her, why lie to yourself about it?

I'm a guy who is attracted to many types of women....but if isn't, one isn't.

You really have to, at the very least, "like" someone if you want to get into a relationship with someone. It will not work if you're forcing the issue.

I "forced the issue" once when I was 15. I went out with somebody because I thought it was the cool thing to do. I wasn't attracted to the girl, though, and I never "tried anything." We broke up with bad feelings--because I was lying to her and lying to myself.

In order to shut the other person up I had to at least make an attempt that I give a f**k which in all reality I don't
I am cordial to the person whom works at the pizza joint but again I'm not looking for a friendship or a relationship I really want to stay mutual with this person and keep things on a business level. I'm not the one pressing this issue but yet I'm the one expected to make contact and pretend to like somebody that i have little to no feelings for for the sake of being normal in an NT sense. I want to speak to my union delegate I want out I never signed up for this lol