How can you tell a phony person apart from a genuine one?

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Summer_Twilight
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03 Jul 2015, 12:09 pm

I was just wondering how you can pick up on someone whose phony.



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Blue Jay
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03 Jul 2015, 1:40 pm

Things they say don't add up (especially over time), things they say seem too good to be true or too convenient, etc. I suppose it depends on the situation.

They try to hide it, so there's no guarantee of being able to pick them out.



Spiderpig
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03 Jul 2015, 7:48 pm

Ah, in the Good Old Days, people weren't always carrying phones around. They weren't phony.


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nerdygirl
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04 Jul 2015, 5:16 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
Ah, in the Good Old Days, people weren't always carrying phones around. They weren't phony.


How you can tell that someone's corny. :wink:



nerdygirl
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04 Jul 2015, 5:30 pm

Real people don't have a facade of everything being "great" all the time, and they don't always appear to "have it all together." Real, genuine people let their "warts" and quirks show.

Phony people are often trying to show off. They always (only) talk about their successes. They tend to name-drop a lot. They tend to be overly assertive and act like they think they are "God's gift to the world", as if they have everything to offer you, but you have nothing to offer them. Very arrogant. Basically, they act like politicians.

Real people do sometimes talk about their successes, try to look good, and even name-drop. But you have to consider how much and why people do this. If someone doesn't let you see their "bad side", s/he is phony. Someone who is real will let you see all their sides - the good, the bad, and the ugly.

People are different, however, in how quickly they let you in to see all these sides. Quiet/private "real" people can be hard to figure out. They might appear phony at first because they find it hard to let people in to see the less good stuff about them, but it's not because they are trying to be fake. Here is where you have to consider a person's attitude. A humble person is real.



AuroraBorealisGazer
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05 Jul 2015, 8:48 am

I try observing how they interact with other people. So if they act really sweet and complimentary to someone's face and then, the minute that person leaves, their tone changes or they roll their eyes, then they're probably a phony.

I also learn a lot by watching characters on TV and in movies. They typically give you an initial introduction to the character, giving you a chance to guess if they're as they seem. Then along the way you can either prove, or disprove your theory, and at the end they reveal the answer.



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05 Jul 2015, 8:54 am

nerdygirl wrote:
Real people don't have a facade of everything being "great" all the time, and they don't always appear to "have it all together." Real, genuine people let their "warts" and quirks show.

Phony people are often trying to show off. They always (only) talk about their successes. They tend to name-drop a lot. They tend to be overly assertive and act like they think they are "God's gift to the world", as if they have everything to offer you, but you have nothing to offer them. Very arrogant. Basically, they act like politicians.

Real people do sometimes talk about their successes, try to look good, and even name-drop. But you have to consider how much and why people do this. If someone doesn't let you see their "bad side", s/he is phony. Someone who is real will let you see all their sides - the good, the bad, and the ugly.

People are different, however, in how quickly they let you in to see all these sides. Quiet/private "real" people can be hard to figure out. They might appear phony at first because they find it hard to let people in to see the less good stuff about them, but it's not because they are trying to be fake. Here is where you have to consider a person's attitude. A humble person is real.


This is spot on.



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05 Jul 2015, 8:40 pm

I honestly don't know when I am being genuine or phony. Growing up I was never allowed to complain, cry, throw a tantrum, walk in circles, or do something that would embarrass my family. Eventually from constantly being struck and whipped I learned to fear expressing emotion or asking for help. I would sometimes would be thrown in a dark closet to cry and tantrum for hours. My parents would also leave me at parks and shopping centers hoping someone would take me. I was the middle child. My brother and sister was all my parents wanted.

I remember I would always take the blame for my sister and brothers wrong doings in hopes that they would like me or convince my parent to love me. I felt like if I shouldered the pain maybe they would see I good. I would get thrown into the closet after being disciplined. I hoped my brother and sister would save me from the dark place. Never happened. I still took their blame. I was never allowed to play outside or have friends until I was age 11. I remember one of my brothers friends, who was our neighbor at the time, told my brother,"I never knew you had a brother, why doesn't he never come out and play tag with us?" My brother just gave a disgusted face and didn't say anything like I didn't exist. I don't remember my heart could hurt so much. I'm going to stop water is coming down my eyes.

Moral of the story, I think I lost my humanity in that dark closet.



BitterGeek
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05 Jul 2015, 8:51 pm

Their actions don't line up with their words and there's something broken about their moral compass.



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05 Jul 2015, 9:37 pm

How Can You Tell A Phony Person Apart From A Genuine One?


That is the funniest thing that I have heard in a long time.

This is a joke, right?

Are you talking about: "Keeping it real", like black people say.

Or, what if somebody was genuinely phoney, like the cyber ninjas?

Inaudible honesty.

What fun.



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06 Jul 2015, 1:08 am

I sometimes don't even know what words come out of my mouth. lol



cathylynn
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06 Jul 2015, 1:11 am

see if their words and actions match.



tayblast
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06 Jul 2015, 3:46 am

It takes time.
Anyone can pretend to be something they're not for a short amount of time.



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08 Jul 2015, 1:28 pm

Ask yourself this:

Who am I?

Can you describe yourself without being phoney?

Have you found an answer to the age old question, Who am I?

It could take more than one lifetime to become a "Genuine" person.

Your question leads to the nature of reality, humanity, and consciousness, that is why I laugh.

Or perhaps, you just want to know if your date wants to marry you.



Fnord
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08 Jul 2015, 2:29 pm

Phony people cast no reflection or shadow.



Sweetleaf
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08 Jul 2015, 2:34 pm

Tap on them to see if they are made of flesh and bone or something else....?

Lol, I actually don't really know a good way to go about that.


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