Do you ever get this response?

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Hi:
I was wondering if you ever run into people in a social setting who appear be silent with you when you are in a group setting. If you even move to use the bathroom or anything they seem to start talking. Then once you return they shut down and start scowling about you being around. So they finally leave with an attitude that they have such and such to do.

Is this common for people on the autism spectrum?

It’s happened to me a lot, and more than that. Sometimes they had to start overtly bullying me before I got the message that I’d better get lost. It was probably due to the combination of two factors: 1) I rarely thought whether I was welcome or not, and had a hard time telling when I wasn’t, and 2) I was taught to think in terms of whether I have a right to be somewhere at some time, and not how likely that right is to be respected or whether I have any realistic means of defending it. Unsurprisingly, other people left those places much sooner than I did, and only I had to be set right by means of bullying.

My other experiences

1. People gathering or sitting in one area seem to move if they see me
2. Girls in 5th grade refused to change into their swim suits inside the same rows of lockers with me in phy ed
3. Given excuses not to let me sit next to them by telling me that they had a cold and then having their friends laugh about it afterwards.

Yes, I have gotten this response before, on quite a few occasions. I have often found it quite discouraging, but I am trying to understand it now. I hope that if I understand it I can figure out what to do about it.

One thing I have started to do more is to just move on when I notice people responding this way.

I have a few theories about why people respond this way. One theory is that some people become especially uncomfortable when social interactions aren't flowing very smoothly. Some people can't stand moments that seem to them socially awkward; someone I know feels this way.

My other theory is that those people have a wrong impression of me. Some people might think that a person who isn't good with small talk is somehow being impolite or inconsiderate. I think a lot of people very naturally are continually thinking about other people's feelings, and they expect everyone else to do and to be able to do that as well as they do.

I feel this way at school but I mostly blame myself as I can't small talk at all so I generally just keep quiet and out of the way of their cheery conversations. It's better to be quiet than to blurt out something weird or hard for them to understand, it is awkward tho whenever I get stuck at the table with one of these people since its not like they're extending any olive branches my way. Just both sit silently, don't even acknowledge I'm there. I don't know what they think about me, it's probably not good to even think about it.

Actual schoolwork and class discussion is easier since there is a topic and structure to it

I had that in middle and high school where I would sit with other kids who considered themselves my friends. Although they didn't give my the silent treatment but it felt awkward. One time I tried to join into a conversation and the one of them said "Yes Summer I heard you."

Another time I ran into some extended family members at a mall and tried to reach out. My uncle said hi but my two cousins behaved like two statues that were both staring in the same direction. They did not move or say hello or anything. Not to mention one of those cousins was pretty close to me for a long time but lost their interest after being brain washed into the idea that autism is a mental illness. It was so awkward and I very hurt. I said "Well excuse me for being a chatter box I need to go." They kept walking in not acknowledging me or anything.

At that time I had bad manners and said whatever I felt and called the one who I used to look up to me the "B" word. While I agree that they were acting inappropriately I responded inappropriately and I still feel bad to this day for sinking to their level.