My "friends" are odd...

Post Reply New Topic

Not sure if I just keep befriending the same... type of (odd) people, or the worst has happened...

I noticed that my "friends" would read messages on stuff like Facebook, but won't respond. However, when met in person, we will chat.

Are they trying to avoid me whilst maintaining some semblance of politeness? I think this is probably not true, as they still gesture me to join them say, when they see me during lunch break or stuff.

This behaviour is becoming more frequent. Am I drifting apart? I can't tell.

I am totally confused...

Best thing I ever did socially was ignoring Facebook. For me, socializing via someone's monolithic branded web interfaces demands more wherewithal than looking at someone's eyes. I think eliminating a frequent cause of our anxiety redistributes it between everyone.

Yeah, I know, but especially during holidays, I have little way of maintaining contact with them. FB is utterly depressing due to the amount of NT "friends" I have, but I am not a phone person...

Heck, majority of the time, I leave it on so my family can contact me, as I live overseas from them.

Lately I've been suggesting that everybody video call my Android phone instead, it's slowly catching on Stateside...

I really don't know why they do it, but it's not necessarily a problem.

I have a friend who misses or forgets to respond to messages sometimes, but we still have some meaningful conversations other times and play games together frequently. One of his friends (his roommate, they've known each other for several years) apparently flat-out ignores him sometimes.

People are odd, indeed. Some more than others.

Some people are just way more comfortable talking in person or on the phone than on-line. There could be a number of reasons, from privacy issues to only using a phone and finding it a pain to type on, etc.

If these people are gesturing for you to join them at lunch, they like you. Let them be themselves in regards to their online interaction with you, and enjoy the in-person interaction. It sounds like you see these people often enough that you can have a decent amount of in-person interaction.

I *must* rely on email and FB to have interaction because my job is such that I *might* see people I work with once a week or so, and then I only have a very brief time (5-10 minutes before or after rehearsal or during break) to to chat. The only way I could have longer is to set up a specific time to see someone (or we would both agree to arrive early or go for a drink after or something like that), but that only makes sense if I am already good friends with someone.

And I don't use the phone socially except for talking to my family. The people who I have been getting to know and have become friends with have basically gotten the "it's email or nothing" talk. I don't see them often enough in person to make the relationship work on just that, and I don't use the phone.

To me, and to many of my generation, person-to-person contact (in person) carries more credence than mere online contact.

I've been there and I was very depressed that no one wants to take up a discussion, comment on important issue or even respond to what in my mind is concerning or important. At the same time I was tired of the BS people posted daily.

The best solution is to give up Facebook account, if possible. I did.

Unfortunately for us, Facebook is a medium to carry trivial messages, personal interaction and digital chi-chat. More reasonable and sensible messages are ignored there, because it is an entertainment medium! People check Facebook to relax, laugh, indulge in ignorance and absentmindedness. This is not a place for us.

Following account delete, you will only feel more like interacting and maintaining relationships in real life.

It depends on who your friends are. I have some very in-depth discussions on various topics on FB. The worst thing about that is the discussions happen in public more than ones on here. And people know who I am on FB, so my views are very "out in the open."

Are they like that in person, too?
You said that you guys chat in person but I've noticed that people who are like that may exhibit that same type of response in real life.
For example, if you are with your friend and a third friend, will your friend sometimes ignore you or act like you're not there? Or if you're at a gathering, will your friend leave you and act like you are not her friend and when everyone leaves, your friend acts like you are a friend again?

Dunno, I've had problems with "friends" in the past and I've been terribly hurt before and your post somewhat reminds me of what I went through.


I'd keep an eye out if you feel something is off.. Cos if they don't act like a friend sometimes to you then I'm not sure if they are a true friend!!..

You said "I think this is probably not true, as they still gesture me to join them say, when they see me during lunch break or stuff."
I agree with you, if they tried to drift you apart from them, they wouldn't suggest you to join them, actions speak louder than words. Their action speaks that they consider you as their friend. And I recommend you not to care their call any more, if you ever did. Have you ever told them to join you instead of vice versa? Try to be an initiator/suggester of anything you feel comfortable..

As for your concerns, it could be due to the context itself in your messages, to which they don't have desire to respond.