Instinctive reaction to stress?

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I am currently in therapy to try and assist me in socialization and figuring out how to interact with other people. However, there's something that terrifies me about it, and I think I've finally figured it out.

Whenever I get emotional IN ANY WAY (happy, sad, angry, upset, etc), if it gets strong enough, I wind up in tears. I have no control over it whatsoever. It seems to happen more often if the person I'm talking with is in authority over me.

At work, if I am trying to discuss my issues with my manager, I wind up needing Kleenex, and I look like a distrought, weepy idiot. Almost immediately, most people's reaction is to consolel me, which only makes me even MORE upset, because I don't need consoling!

I am currently in a bad situation at work and need to talk to my manager about it, but I'm afraid that three sentences in, I'm going to wind up a bawling mess again. Does anyone else have this problem, and if so... how do you control it when you NEED to discuss important matters with someone else?

I have this problem too, although not quite as bad as I can usually stop myself crying, but I think it's usually obvious to everyone that I nearly am. This just makes me even more stressed and makes it difficult to talk because I'm trying not to. I nearly cried when I was talking to my tutor once about a presentation lol
I don't really know how you can stop it though tbh, I wish I did though.
Good luck with your situation at work though.

I'm like that too. I think the stress of interacting with people compounded with the stress of whatever you're worried about is enough to make anyone teary-eyed.

At the very least, I know I'm not the only one dealing with this. Thank you!

My manager just walked by, I'm apparently meeting with him later.

*Sigh*

Here's hoping I can keep myself together.

I wish I could cry…you want what you don’t.

I assume that when you reach a point in that you cry to…to release emotion externally that you’re feeling internally is the point of no return for you, i.e., the situation is overwhelming to you. It’s good to withdraw to a safer place when it’s that overwhelming…but you still must return to the environment that is stressful to you; otherwise you’ll start to withdraw when the stress wasn’t as high as it was before, and you'll end up not confronting anything that's remotely similar to your triggering events.

You can do things that can reduce the amount of stress you experience, i.e., perhaps discuss with your manager though written medium, networked computers or whatever. Or, you can just take a Xanax to lower your anxiety threshold so that you can function when you experience and know the triggering situation...this is a bandaid though, not a work around.

I don't know how I was able to do it, but you gotta really control yourself. Have you tried yelling? It really drains your passion.

I am prone to it in extreme situations. It can be quite a problem for a 6' guy to have tears in his eyes when he's trying to explain himself, being aspie doesn't help either!
I find it helps to rehearse/practise what you want to say, be sure to stick to the main points and don't let yourself be distracted or diverted from them. Try to imagine the conversation going well, the outcome as you want it, as well as other outcomes and how you will deal with them.

I tend to cry in two situations....when very stressed dealing with "authority figures" and when hearing compassion and concern in someones voice(this used to happen in therepy....a few minutes into the session I would be in tears and remain so until I left).

I believe the former is a form of "melt-down"....I was never a temper-tantrum child...I would just start crying when stressed or over stimulated or frustrated or confussed(most times I was one or the other dealing with people,changes,new situations).

The latter crying,I believe was part of how "out of touch" I was with my own feelings....once the therepist would say something to "trigger" or name the emotion...it would come out in tears(even if it was really anger).

The only way I stopped doing this(which I found very embarassing and inconvienant)was taking a low dose of Effexor(75mg).That has stopped the tears and now my melt-downs are more likely to be the emotion I am actually feeling....rage.OK,maybe not a great trade off but I still find it easier to control my anger at work then my tears.

I cry whenever I am frustrated. One time in sewing class two years ago, I cried because my teacher wouldn't tell me which way to fold my fabric and I didn't know how to figure it out. I couldn't stop snuffling for a really long time after I stopped crying. When I cry, I also find it very difficult to breath at times, let alone speak. I cannot really suggest any ideas for helping yourself not cry, other than find a place to be alone and try to work out whatever is frustrating you or making you sad as soon as possible so then you can calm down. I would suggest writing a letter to your boss to explain why you cry and that you are not necessarily terribly upset, it's just the way you react to even a minimal amount of emotion. Perhaps you could try writing more of your ideas down in a letter so then you are able to explain them without having to cry in front of someone. Also, you could perhaps have a sign or a note to hand your boss when you are going to start crying so then your boss knows ahead of time. I don't know what good that would do, though other than just as a warning. Also, if you need to discuss something write away, do you think you might be better able to communicate by writing your ideas down for other people than having to speak?

Just an update...

Had the meeting, and it went GREAT. I was able to keep myself calm, and my manager and I were finally able to talk and get a LOT of things straightened out. I told him about my AS, and we went over the reasons why he intimidated me so badly. All in all, we got a lot of crap fixed and I am now more comfortable about my job than I have been in MONTHS.

Thank you all for the advice!

Really glad things worked out for you.I still dont have the courage to face my manager but I did find a free "guide to being a manager of an aspie",that I am thinking of giving her to at least understand that my "weirdness" maybe misinturpreted by her.

If you have problems again in future try writing a letter? I can not express myself verbally to my manager at all, i twitch a lot and cannot look at her, when I try to speak i stammer over my words and will end up crying. I always write letters now as this is an acceptable way for my to express what i really think.
It is easier when your manager know you have AS.