Page 1 of 1 [ 4 posts ] 

IncredibleFrog
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 22 May 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 248

04 Nov 2015, 7:15 am

Is harder than I thought. I've been trying to put myself out there more, make new friends and maybe try dating. I joined Meetup.com and have been to several meet ups already. But there aren't many groups near where I live, they usually revolve around things that don't interest me (like, social drinking) and everybody is older than me. I've tried school clubs, but few people come to them (average is about two).

I just can't seem to meet anybody I have anything in common with, and I'm introverted so going out and meeting new people is exhausting for me.

How do you make friends and find people in your age range with common interests? I'm in my 20's if it helps. I love movies, video/board/card/dice/tabletop games, animals, science, and art. I'm a girl, but I usually get along better with boys.

Any suggestions?

On another note, I'm bisexual and I'd like to try dating another girl, but I don't know how. I can never tell if they are gay/bisexual, and I feel like a creep flirting with a straight girl. :oops:



probly.an.aspie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 Oct 2015
Age: 47
Posts: 522
Location: U.S.A.

04 Nov 2015, 8:05 am

Aaahhh. i have to say as a happily married mother in my 30's i am not sure it is any easier. I am not sure this is what you want to hear, but if it helps to know someone else has difficulty too...i do. I have terrible difficulty making and keeping friends. A lot of specifically social groups are geared towards specifically social stuff. I tried moms' group type stuff and it is a nightmare. Kazillions of screaming kids, some nice ppl but always a couple of catty ones who create drama...it always became too much for me to navigate socially and i ended up dropping it.

I can't speak to dating because i married my high school sweetheart and still love him dearly. But on the friendship side...i am still close to a few coworkers that i haven't worked with for 10 yrs. But we began our friendship on the job which is the way i find i make friends more easily. Social stuff is backseat to the job. I also have a few close friends nearby who i met because of my children--one lady who used to babysit for me and has remained a close friend, and another mom whose son is a close friend of my son. Her son is also an aspie so we share common struggles at times. My closest friend close to my age is one i met online and we mostly chat by phone because of the geographical distance. Her friendship fills a need for a lady friend my own age to share similar experiences.

Occasionally hubby and i will hang out at a bar for a date night. At times i can enjoy it, but it is not a favorite atmosphere for me. Too much sensory and social overload.

My advice is to keep your friend circle small and close. Large groups are full of drama which is tough for aspies. When someone says, "you should do mom's group" i always think "run, Forest, run!" :) :) Hope this helps! :)



Kuraudo777
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Sep 2015
Posts: 14,743
Location: Seventh Heaven

04 Nov 2015, 12:18 pm

I would say that it might help to be brave and approach people and ask them if they're interested in what you're interested in.


_________________
Quote:
A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, right? That's why sometimes it can be mistaken and a different thing. But it's different from a memory locked deep within your heart. Words aren't the only way to tell someone how you feel.” Tifa Lockheart, Final Fantasy VII


probly.an.aspie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 Oct 2015
Age: 47
Posts: 522
Location: U.S.A.

04 Nov 2015, 2:41 pm

IncredibleFrog wrote:

How do you make friends and find people in your age range with common interests? I'm in my 20's if it helps. I love movies, video/board/card/dice/tabletop games, animals, science, and art. I'm a girl, but I usually get along better with boys.

:oops:


Maybe some art classes if you can find some in your area? Or a science club of some type? It would follow the pattern i have found works for me and my kids--center activities around stuff you can do and the social stuff is then a bit less awkward. You and the others in the group are more focused on your shared activity rather than just chatting around a table about life, which is where i get myself tripped up.