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Auras
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07 Apr 2007, 5:51 am

I'm new here so I'll post a little background. I found out I was AS a few years ago (22 now) and have studied AS to a great extent but till recently haven't had a lot of contact with the Aspie community. I'm curious as to how well 2 diagnosed Aspies conversing and trying to relate works face to face. does recognizing each others traits seem to make social interaction easier? I guess I'm just curios if Aspie 2 Aspie interaction is easier than Aspie 2 NT interaction or not. sorry if this post is confusing. it's 5:30 a.m. here. I'll try to come back and edit it once I've gotten some sleep.


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calandale
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07 Apr 2007, 6:22 am

Don't see what the DX should matter, but I think AS/AS tend to connect MUCH better.



ExeterChris
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07 Apr 2007, 6:30 am

I think that because Aspies can understand each other, it makes it easier to interact. I have found this with the few Aspies I've met.

That said, not all Aspies have the same interests. If you have totally different interests, you're not going to get on brilliantly. (As is the same for NT/NT connections)


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HolidayonIce
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07 Apr 2007, 9:55 am

When aspies are in a relationship together they create their own kind of normal.

My partner and I are both over 50 and went through school, including college and graduate degrees, long before Asperger's was recognized. Our conversations about being aspie contain a lot of "so that's why..." and "well, that makes sense, now" moments.

For example... I never knew he had problems making contact because he always made eye contact with me, and he never realized I had the same difficulty because I always made eye contact with me.... We're a year apart in age. I first became aware of him when I was 12 and he was 13 but we didn't become friends for a couple of years after that and fell in love when we attended the same college, only to part a couple of years after graduating.

After years apart and many failed relationships with NTs, we reconnected last fall after 27 years and are enjoying our own quirky kind of normal.... He's brilliant and reclusive but has acquired sufficient social skills to appear NT when around them for business. My path has been similar to that described by Liane Holliday Willey in her book 'Pretending to be Normal', that is to say I've become very outgoing in business and social situations but no longer wonder why I'm so exhausted by it all at the end of the day. We both have firmly embraced and celebrate being thought of as eccentric - it's like a badge of honor.

In relationships with NTs both he and I have discussed feeling as if we were constantly walking on eggshells, never knowing when doing something that didn't seem unusual to us would spark some kind of nerve to the NT. We both had tremendous difficulty reading the language, face and body signals of our past NT partners but, curiously, we have NO difficulty reading one another!

Hope this encourages you.


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Flow
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07 Apr 2007, 9:58 am

I think that Aspie 2 Aspie communication is better than Aspie 2 NT communication, because we can relate.


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Auras
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07 Apr 2007, 10:29 am

Thanks for all the good information. All i meant by DX'd was that they were already aware there were Aspies. Doctor DX isn't really relevant I wouldn't think.


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alexbeetle
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07 Apr 2007, 11:01 am

I think because we say what we mean rather than using hints and inuendos it is easier to communicate.


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Tim_Tex
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07 Apr 2007, 11:20 am

I often use hints and nonverbal communication, and can understand those things very well.

Tim


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hyperbolic
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07 Apr 2007, 11:26 am

Much better, for me, when the interaction is AS/AS.



richardbenson
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11 Apr 2007, 12:20 pm

id be worried about the otherguy knowing what it was like having aspergers, id probaby say hello then leave


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